tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64422860044376937352024-02-19T12:20:42.830-05:00That's Not Me AnymoreWhat I'm learning as a wife, mom, friend and follower of Jesus in the current season of life.Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.comBlogger145125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-48956957797969952552013-09-05T13:25:00.000-04:002013-09-05T13:25:08.701-04:00Stress Be Gone!I don't know about you, but when the seasons change...the stress seems to build around here. This seems to be a season with quite a bit of change as all the kids are now in school and I've been trying to figure out the right balance of work vs. family/home time. And of course, what seemed like a simple transition got a bit more complicated when an unexpected job possibility popped up...and then ultimately dropped off the radar as suddenly as it appeared, leaving chaos and stress in it's wake.<br />
Why is that? You'd think after quite a few years of life on earth, us humans would be a little more adaptable. I even claim to be a pretty laid back person, but a change in routine or even thoughts about change can send me into hyper-stress mode...<br />
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So I give you my solution: Stress Be Gone! (Only $19.95 plus $7.95 processing and handling. Act now and get one free and pay only the processing and handling fee. A double blind study in Timbuktu shows fast results for 63% of participants. Avoid where prohibited. Not valid in New Mexico. Side effects include dizziness, drowsiness and constipation.)<br />
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So I found myself generally freaking out with adjusting to the school schedule and suddenly filling out a job application and finding references and researching going back to school(for a PART-TIME job, mind you!)...when I had to stop and breath and figure out a plan before jumping over the edge. Here are my tried an true stress relievers. Feel free to add your own in the comments section!<br />
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1. Don't neglect your time with God. It's so easy to skip that quiet time when the routine gets disrupted and life is overwhelming...or miss church a week or two...neglect serving at church or elsewhere...but DON'T DO IT. If anything, it's time for me to spend a little more time in the Bible and prayer. To keep at what I said I would do for church. To sit at the piano and just play and praise until the anxiousness fades away.<br />
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2. Share your stress; there are those who can share your burden even though vulnerability is hard. I'm a bottler. I will keep everything locked up inside sometimes until it explodes. So it's good for me to schedule a time to meet a friend when I'm feeling pressured and we get to catch up and eat something yummy. And there's a few awesome friends out there that I can share my worries with and I KNOW they will pray me through it! And my husband is a great sounding board, too. I may not always agree with his take on my decision, change, dilemma, worry, circumstance...but he certainly lends a more objective perspective that whittles down the mountains I make out of molehills.<br />
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3. Determine what kind of stress it is. There are some stressful circumstances in which I have absolutely no control over. None...nada...zilch. With those things I can continue to stew, letting it steal my time, mind, heart and energy. Or I can decide to trust God, give it to Him, and keep giving it to him each and every time my mind wanders back to worry. Sigh. It's my default setting. God's been working in me a lot on this for the past, oh...20 plus years. However, there are some types of stress that I have created myself and could do something that will improve it. Sometimes I need to have a conversation I'm not looking forward to. Sometimes it is doing a task that I have been putting off. Sometimes it's simply making a decision. When I act, the reason to be stressed is gone! I know I've done all I can do! Then like the other stress, I give it to God. Yet sometimes I'm tempted to play the dramatic stressed victim a little bit longer before I am pushed to action. Woe is me! I do declare, how whilst I ever survive this terrible stress?!? That's just unnecessary. And not Godly. I DO need to be careful and think through my decisions and actions. But more than a day of contemplation for me usually just adds drama.<br />
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4. If I've worked through 1-3, my next step is to do "happy things." If I'm feeling pretty good, it's a dog walk or a bike ride. A visit to somewhere pretty. A little browsing at Goodwill. Listening to my favorite music. Reading something light. Talking to my hilarious kids. Doing some porch sitting with my hubby. Drinking a good cup of coffee/tea. Eating ice cream/chocolate/that stupid key lime Greek yogurt that has become way too much of a staple in my diet... I'm fortunate to have lots of good "go-tos" I've developed over the years that keep my mind and emotions in a healthy place. And I've learned to work them in here and there even when there's a LOT to get done in a day.<br />
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OK, all jokes and Greek yogurt aside, some stress is more than we can handle even with the stuff listed above. Illness, death, heartache and tragedies are on many of our doorsteps. The long term really tough and really real things in life require a network of supportive people, God's continual grace and encouragement, and many times professional help to overcome. And I don't want to minimize that. I just know that much of my personal stress is not big things. It's little things that inch their way into my heart and set up camp where the one and only, true, living and loving God should be. "Oh for grace to trust Him more," right? <br />
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Oh, and in case you're wondering, I do have a part-time job. Well, three actually. 1. A few music students one afternoon/evening a week. 2. I frequently watch a couple of awesome kiddos after school. 3. I will be starting to volunteer for AmeriCorps I think next week (training tomorrow!). And although it's technically "volunteer" work, I will get a living stipend each month and money towards going back to school. So all in good time, maybe that other job option will work out. But for now, work plus school plus not quite enough money to pay for school equals...you guessed it...too much STRESS! :)<br />
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<em>Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30472O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></sup> <span class="text 1Pet-5-7" id="en-NIV-30473"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>Cast all your anxiety on him<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30473P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)"></sup> because he cares for you. (I Peter 5:6-7)</span></em><br />
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<em></em><br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-21472551047801642022013-08-16T12:41:00.000-04:002013-08-16T12:41:53.241-04:0034 is the new 34!Today is my birthday! I made myself blueberry pancakes, I am still sitting in my pj's at lunch, and I get to attend my kids' school open house tonight. Probably not the birthday I dreamed about when I was a kid, but definitely a good birthday for easing into my mid-thirties. Pardon me whilst I wax nostalgic.<br />
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<u>At Sixteen</u>. My five best girlfriends in high school (In sixth grade three cousins sat at lunch with their best friends and the crew was born!) threw a slumber party for me and we had tons of fun. By that time we spent less time together because boys and a million and one extra curricular activities had gotten in the way, but I have ALWAYS appreciated them doing that for me and I'm very happy to catch up with them from time to time. They are an awesome, smart, and talented group of women who do some amazing things these days... Also, somebody teepeed my house for my sixteenth birthday. I always have suspected the boys in my youth group but never proved it. Outwardly, I was annoyed because I had to clean it up. Inwardly, it was the best compliment they could have given me. They thought of me enough to annoy my entire family and neighborhood.<br />
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<u>At Twenty One</u>. I drove down to Frank's parents house in the wilderness outside Deputy, Indiana to spend my birthday with him. We spent a lot of the day by the creek just hiking and playing around in the water. So much for becoming an adult! I lost one of the lenses out of my glasses and drove four hours home with one eye closed. I was about to start my senior year at ISU and had no clue what the future held. I always thought I'd go to grad school or something (Um, I had no real plan), but I quickly saw my future changing to include this guy named Frank Sabelhaus. Less than a year later he would lead me, in the middle of the night, to that same creek to propose, the way illuminated by some kind of light he had to rig with a car battery because he couldn't find a flashlight. Sigh...love that man.<br />
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<u>At Thirty</u>. It seems odd that just four short years ago I was entering the thirties and my oldest child was starting kindergarten. Now my youngest starts kindergarten on Monday, and I feel like a school age mom veteran. While I'm wistful that there are no more babies, no more toddlers, no more pre-schoolers even...it's hard to be sad when my newly minted five year old is "JUST. SO. EXCITED!" for school. He is very ready for this and I can't wait to see how much he learns and grows this year! At thirty I was soon to begin my awesome job as the Jobs for America's Graduates teacher in Vincennes. I still had a pre-schooler and a baby. We were living in Sullivan but working hard with the church plant in Terre Haute. Never ending work on the house. Frank was working for the city. I had no idea chronic illness loomed in my future.<br />
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<u>At Thirty Three</u>. It's been weirdly cold this August and I can't help but compare it to a year ago when we were still moving into the house in Terre Haute...and it was just so hot and so dry. Everything was in upheaval with moving and remodeling the house and I was apprehensive about how changing schools would go for the kids, how I would adjust to staying at home again for the most part, what church we would attend, what lay ahead for my health... Lots of question marks that God has turned into exclamation points of thankfulness this year. Plus my Momma came to visit for a little chaos control and took me out to eat and shopping for my birthday. She's the best!<br />
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<u>Today</u>. Just so blessed. Just so thankful. Even though I don't physically feel great this week, I now get infusions with medicine that is very effective for my ulcerative colitis and I know after my infusion next week I will be feeling better soon. Chronic illness is a lifelong roller coaster learning process. It is ever changing and the solutions must change along with it...but I have had so many ups this year and just a few downs. We(read: Frank, poor Frank) are STILL working on the house...Annabelle's room will soon be completed and her stuff is strewn about the house at the moment, but I now have a beautiful living room, dining room, and kitchen thanks to my AMAZING husband. I had a good year teaching some music students and am looking forward to teaching again this year with some returning faces and maybe some new ones. Annabelle and Joey had a great year at their new school! They handled the transition better than I did, probably, and it has been a very positive change. Also, the kids and I have truly had the best summer...being lazy when we want to, getting some things done when we had to, and exploring the world around us in some just plain fun ways. I have dreamed of a summer like that since I became a parent and I finally had the opportunity to do it! We've attended Maryland Community Church this year. Not only have we grown spiritually and been challenged there, we have the extra blessing of meeting and becoming friends with some great people. Friends I think I'll have for a very long time! And I'm kind of in awe that Frank and I get to be a part of the worship team, too. What a privilege and joy to serve on that team. And the icing on the cake (Ooooh, birthday metaphor, watch out!) are yet even more things God has brought my way...like the opportunity to watch some great kids after school and earn a little extra money for my family...or getting to reconnect with some of my college friends that live close by...or making a new friend who shares my same disease and "gets" me...getting to lead devotional worship at the House of Prayer each week...or bringing the perfect Assistant Girl Scout Leader to me who actually LIKES keeping track of the bank account! <br />
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Thirty four is a fantastic place to be. I don't wish I was younger. In some ways I feel younger and freer today than a decade ago. Wiser, more confident, and more fun. I can more easily let the unimportant go and cling to the important and know the difference between the two. I get full night of sleep now that the kids are older. Highlights still mask my strands of grey. And I can rock some chucks without people giving me the stink eye. I don't really wish I was older...BUT...by the time next year rolls around...35 will be the new 35, and that will be cool, too.<br />
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<u>The Future</u>. So, I can't just sit and eat chocolate and watch day time TV while my kids are at school this year, right? (Well, maybe from time to time.) But I don't really desire to enter the rat race of full time employment either. So I've got some part-time AmeriCorps volunteering that's in the works for this year...along with music lessons, some watching kiddos after school, Girl Scouts, church stuff, continuing to take care of the home front...yeah. I'll stay busy. But hopefully not TOO busy. And if health allows, I still would love to finish a half marathon by age 40(or next year!). Maybe go back to school or back to a career or both...but all in good time...all in God's time.<br />
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<em>Do you not know?<br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-40-28">Have you not heard?<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18449CG" title="See cross-reference CG">CG</a>)"></sup></span></span><br /><span class="text Isa-40-28">The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> is the everlasting<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18449CH" title="See cross-reference CH">CH</a>)"></sup> God,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-40-28">the Creator<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18449CI" title="See cross-reference CI">CI</a>)"></sup> of the ends of the earth.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18449CJ" title="See cross-reference CJ">CJ</a>)"></sup></span></span><br /><span class="text Isa-40-28">He will not grow tired or weary,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18449CK" title="See cross-reference CK">CK</a>)"></sup></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-40-28">and his understanding no one can fathom.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18449CL" title="See cross-reference CL">CL</a>)"></sup></span></span><br /><span class="text Isa-40-29" id="en-NIV-18450">He gives strength<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18450CM" title="See cross-reference CM">CM</a>)"></sup> to the weary<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18450CN" title="See cross-reference CN">CN</a>)"></sup></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-40-29">and increases the power of the weak.</span></span><br /><span class="text Isa-40-30" id="en-NIV-18451">Even youths grow tired and weary,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-40-30">and young men<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18451CO" title="See cross-reference CO">CO</a>)"></sup> stumble and fall;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18451CP" title="See cross-reference CP">CP</a>)"></sup></span></span><br /><span class="text Isa-40-31" id="en-NIV-18452">but those who hope<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18452CQ" title="See cross-reference CQ">CQ</a>)"></sup> in the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-40-31">will renew their strength.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18452CR" title="See cross-reference CR">CR</a>)"></sup></span></span><br /><span class="text Isa-40-31">They will soar on wings like eagles;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18452CS" title="See cross-reference CS">CS</a>)"></sup></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-40-31">they will run and not grow weary,</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-40-31">they will walk and not be faint. </span></span></em><em><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-40-31">(Isaiah 40:28-31)<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18452CT" title="See cross-reference CT">CT</a>)"></sup></span></span></em></div>
Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-7414052643774086452013-07-19T14:02:00.000-04:002013-07-19T14:02:16.200-04:00Being LastDo you ever have a day where you wake up and from the get-go, God seems to have a specific message for your day? Like wherever you go- there it is! That doesn't happen a lot for me, but when it does, I can't help but slow down and say..."Ok, God. I'm listening! Teach away."<br />
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So...Sunday morning I sat down to my bowl of cereal and my giant cup of coffee and a chapter or two of Genesis, which is what I've been reading in the mornings. I'm pretty familiar with most of the stories in Genesis, but as I was reading Genesis Chapter 48, I found the passage is less familiar than most. It is about how Jacob is blessing Joseph's two sons before he dies. Strangely, he crosses his arms while putting his hands on the heads of the two sons. He puts his right hand on the head of Ephraim, the younger son, and he puts his left hand on the head of Manasseh, the older son. The right hand symbolized the bigger blessing and their dad, Joseph, gets kind of grumpy about it. To paraphrase it, he calls his dad out on the mistake...Um, Dad...you're pretty old...maybe you didn't realize Manasseh is older...and then Jacob simply replies he meant to do it that way. So end of discussion! <br />
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Taken out of context this seems like a strange little occurrence, but a little side note in my study Bible caught my eye. It reminded me that the younger brother had a history of getting the blessing in this family. So it wasn't so strange! After all, Jacob elevated Joseph, the second youngest son in his family, to be his favorite. Jacob also tricked his older brother out of his birthright and received a bigger blessing from his father, Isaac. And Isaac was given preference and inheritance over HIS older brother Ishmael. It was a whole long line of the younger brother over the older, totally contrary to the customs of that day, I imagine. <br />
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Um...so what?<br />
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Well, I would have filed this under interesting but not really relevant to my life(Hey, I'm the oldest!)...until...I was prodded with the concept of humility for the rest of the day. There are certain modern day prophets that exist today, although I think they are pretty rare. I am very fortunate to count Marvin Adams, the director of the Wabash Valley International House of Prayer, as a friend and one of these prophetic and spiritually beautiful people. Shortly after my Bible reading on Sunday, he posted this on facebook (used here with permission!):<br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">"I know of only one kingdom that isn't based on selfish gain, that is built on servanthood and that you enter through a cross. It's power is based in hiddeness and humility where the first are last and the last are first. I long for that kingdom to be fully manifest and restored to its rightful place. I have an ache til that happens."</span><br />
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BOOM! And with that, the dots were connected for me. Abraham and his descendants weren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination. There was a lot of deception and hurt in those generations taking blessings traditionally held by the oldest son. BUT. God had, and continues to have, a large scope of a plan and it was already unfolding. There were principles already being established in book one of the Bible that would mesh with the coming of Jesus hundreds of years later far down the same family line of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph. Namely:<em> </em><br />
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<em>The last will be first.</em><br />
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I had to laugh to myself when we arrived at church that evening and I opened up my bulletin to the sermon outline. First point: Humble ourselves. Text: <em>All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God apposes the proud but shows favor to the humble." (</em>1 Peter 5:5)<br />
Of course! A verse from the new testament on humility that quotes a verse from Proverbs in the Old Testament! So, God has intentionally been putting an emphasis and importance on humility in his people for a long time. I get it! But...what's the application here? For me?<br />
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Well, Peter was writing to the first century Christians being persecuted and killed for their beliefs. And even though they weren't high on the social ladder, they were instructed to persevere and also serve each other, too. My context is as a white, straight, Christian woman in her thirties living in the Midwest of the U.S.A. with her middle class (what DOES that mean???) family in the first part of the 21st century. By the standards of most of the population of the world and most of the population of my own country, state, and city, I am beyond privileged. I am no where near last in any measurable category. Sometimes I feel pretty far down in the ranks...in health...in patience...in athletic ability...but last? Probably not. (Unless you count the many 3200s I ran in high school track. I was last a lot.)<br />
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And if I'm honest, I do desire that other people would have the same opportunities as myself. To have their needs met physically and relationally. To have access to health and education and to pursue a career and family and not be persecuted and treated like someone without value. God made everyone unique and valuable enough for his perfect son to die for specifically THEM. Everyone should not just have equality but an infinite value placed upon their life. But how do I show others everyday that they do indeed hold this value? That they are beyond just equal to myself and that they can go first and I can go last? That is simply hard to live. Extremely hard. We struggle as a country to ensure equal rights for all and define what that even is. So how much more is the struggle to put others AHEAD of ourselves? I'm not trying to get political here. Really. I am just struggling to put into motion the huge challenge of Jesus of living a daily life where I put God first and others before myself. <br />
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I don't know about you, but I am guilty of taking the last ice cream treat in the freezer and eating it secretly before my kids find me. I am guilty of not doing a chore on purpose, and hoping my husband does it instead. I can't even put my own flesh and blood first with stupid little things, let alone big important things of spiritual impact! It's hard to get over myself and show others that I think they are valuable because God has made them of great value. So I ask God to change me and continue to work in my heart so that a life of selflessness and humility grows. It becomes natural and causes others to ask...why? It's so backwards to what the world defines as success. You can't help but stand out when you willingly become last.<br />
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So, along with this I think I'm going to study the life of Jesus for awhile to find examples of how he puts others first. Which is good, because I'm running out of chapters in Genesis. And I'll ask for examples from my readers. How do you put others first? How do you make yourself last (but not forget God has made you valuable, too! Even Jesus had to take care of himself and rest up!)?<br />
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<em>But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.</em> (Matthew 19:30)<br />
<em>Blessed are the meek, </em><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Matt-5-5"><span class="woj"><em>for they will inherit the earth.</em> (Matthew 5:5)<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23240A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup></span></span></span><br />
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<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-1631155644149231702013-07-05T15:23:00.003-04:002013-07-05T15:23:52.653-04:00Mid-Summer MadnessWell, I was talking with friends during the holiday...and I said it out loud. "I have written myself out...for the moment." Not that I don't think about writing or have anything to say...I'm sure inspiration could hit again anytime. But all my ideas are kind of...meh. But, I did semi-promise an update on my big list of things to do to keep the kids from being bored this summer...so I can surely do that! (If you want to check out the list, you can find it here: <a href="http://thatsnotmeanymore.blogspot.com/2013/05/im-bored-is-not-allowed-aka-sabelhaus.html">http://thatsnotmeanymore.blogspot.com/2013/05/im-bored-is-not-allowed-aka-sabelhaus.html</a> .) Plus it gives me an excuse not to trim some weeds that have literally grown into trees around here. (Last summer= death and dryness. This summer= tropical rain forest. Ahhhh...Indiana.)<br />
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So. What have we been up to? Here's what we've crossed off the list so far!<br />
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1. We've visited the library several times. Annabelle and I tend to run of reading material quickly...and we went to the water show they had which was ok, but we'd seen the same one in Sullivan last year and it wasn't a very water show day.<br />
2. We've made it to the Terre Haute Children's Museum once so far and I'm sure we'll be back before the summer ends.<br />
3. We had a great picnic day at Dobbs park and looked around the Native American Museum, the Nature Center and took a nice walk on the trails.<br />
4. We've ended up swimming at the pond at Fowler Park a few times. Kind of reminds me of Price's pond where I grew up...little beach...some shady trees to throw your stuff under. We like it, although I try to go earlier in the day. It seems more crowded later on, and since it's free...some of the, ahem, patrons, can have some colorful language. But I'm cheap. And I hate chlorine.<br />
7. We did some strawberry picking. Very fun and the kids loved it. Since we were just picking to have some to munch on at home, an hour was plenty to pick and we came away with over five pounds and no sibling quarrels. I'm not sure I would take younger kids, though, as Jay continually wanted to pick berries from rows not assigned to us.<br />
10. We attempted to ride bikes/walk on the Heritage Trail one day with our Parents of Young Kids group. Two out of three kids had bike wrecks and Jay howled for a good 15 minutes about a skinned knee...so...since I haven't been plentiful in the energy department lately...that's been our only attempt! Can't win them all...<br />
12. We did read <em>Bunnicula</em> out loud at bedtime last month. I forgot how funny that book is! Joey and Annabelle loved it. Jay still prefers picture books and made that fact well known. Loudly.<br />
16. We took a trip to the Bouncin' Barn this week. I always feel like I'm on HIGH MOM ALERT at that place, but the kids always have a blast.<br />
18. One of the first things the kids chose to do on the list was make recycling bins for the house. They even printed out pictures of what items go in what bin and put them on the outside of each bin. We have been doing a good job of sorting out our paper, plastics, glass and metal this summer. I, for one, have been surprised about just how much we used to throw out that could be used again. Lesson learned for mom more than kids, I think! We had hoped to take a tour of the recycling center at ISU but their only scheduled tours were during our vacation and on an infusion day for me...so no luck on that so far. But the kids have been extremely helpful in this. I'm proud! :)<br />
20. We did, in fact, see alpacas and nuns at the White Violet Center at Saint Mary of the Woods College. We got a very cool behind the scenes tour from a nun who showed us where they store and work the alpaca fiber into yarn and then into objects we can use. Then we wandered around to see the alpacas in the field, the gardens, and saw some of the pretty views/history markers on campus, too. I got lots of questions about life in the 1800's around Terre Haute and Catholicism, so it was definitely a big learning day!<br />
35. We did get to camp and have s'mores, too! We took a four day/three night vacation to Ohio and camped for a couple nights followed by a spontaneous and more restful night in a hotel with a kid-friendly pool and a water slide. We did some hiking in the park we stayed in, saw the US Air Force Museum in Dayton and the Center of Science and Industry in Columbus. Pretty nice time for not a lot of dinero! And of course, we ate well both on and off the campsite. I tried Five Guys burgers for the first time. Yum!<br />
36. I added this to the list after the blog post, but we made ice cream in a bag! Very fun. And louder than I thought possible with three kids shaking bags of ice violently on the kitchen table.<br />
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So...even though it sounds like we've done a lot so far...there's still many things on the list to choose from. And I STILL have to fight the kids from complaining of boredom and fight in myself the urge just to let them play video games all day. I think we're at the point in the summer where we're a little sick of being in each others' faces all the time. But over all...good stuff. I am so thankful that I have a summer with them like this. Carpe diem, baby! <br />
<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-36773643594634252652013-06-20T10:14:00.001-04:002013-06-20T10:14:07.355-04:00FiltersI was changing the bag on the vacuum cleaner the other day, and a funny thing happened. Even with a sparkling clean new bag, the thing just did not have suction. After poking and prodding and a little grumbling, my smart and more practically minded husband detected the problem. The filter needed to be cleaned. And how. Ewwwww. I will never cease to be amazed at how filthy five people can be. Now this may be a little bit of a mental leap, but take a mind base jump with me. It got me thinking about the filters through which we view life. What they are...and how they can make us effective...or render us pretty useless like my poor vacuum.<br />
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You see, I take each new experience, new person I meet, new opportunity, and run it through this kind of filtration system that's accumulated over my thirty something years. What I choose to do with it or what I take away is based on past experiences, the people I already know, and the identity I've accepted about myself. My biggest filters right now, in no particular order, are:<br />
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1. My parents, siblings and my childhood<br />
2. My husband<br />
3. The Bible, Christianity, my church<br />
4. My educational and work background<br />
5. The small town Midwest culture in which I grew up<br />
6. Myself as a mom<br />
7. Myself as a friend<br />
8. Myself as a musician and worship leader<br />
9. Myself as a person with a chronic disease<br />
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I'm sure I could find more and dig into the nitty gritty, but these are the main things that make up who I am and how I view my world. Some of my filters have been around my whole life. (Hi, Mom!!) And some of them are fairly new. Two years ago, I never filtered things through a disease...weighing whether the activity was worth precious energy, the risk of pain, or the risk of getting sick, since my treatment makes my immune system about as strong as a newborn's or the elderly...but it's a filter I'm slowly adjusting to.<br />
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When we meet someone who shares a lot of the same filters, I think there's cool instant connection. (Oh! You pegged your pants in the fourth grade and can sing all the lyrics to 80's and 90's Amy Grant songs! Rad!) But to me it's equally cool when I meet someone whose filters are pretty different from my own. I can learn a whole lot from that person and maybe if we dig a little deeper, we WILL find a few filters in common. Or not! But it's a fun journey all the same. I'm pretty sure I don't want my whole world to be full of Beth Clones. Yikes! Imagine a world that's unable to have clean carpets because it's full of people who can't figure out clogged vacuum filters...<br />
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So it occurs to me that good communication comes from an understanding that the person I am interacting with comes to the table with a different set of filters than I do. Thus two people sharing the same conversation remember it very differently sometimes. <br />
He: "I told you about that a week ago."<br />
Me: "Oh, I don't remember talking about that at all."<br />
He: "But you nodded and smiled and said yes."<br />
Me: "Was it after 10 pm?"<br />
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Or through my filters, I thought I explained something perfectly clear! Why doesn't that person get it?!? How can they not believe passionately in the same things that I do?!? Yeah...I catch myself being self-centric a whole lot. And while most of my filters come from good, healthy things, the filters can easily start clogging with things like negativity, cynicism, worry, fear, envy...if I don't give them a good regular cleaning. I quickly become ineffective in relationships and ministry, if not destructive.<br />
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So what's the cure-all for clogged filters? Simply this: Love. The perfect and pure love of God. Did I just compare God's love to a vacuum filter cleaner? Why yes, yes I did... God in the majestic. And God in the mundane. But God really does reach down and scoop out all the disgusting junk I let accumulate in my life. Because I ask Him, and He loves me. <br />
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I can't help but view life through the filters I have. It's what makes me uniquely me. But when those filters are full of love instead of sin, I am much better at reaching out to those around me. I ditch the self-serving attitudes and the judgement. I communicate more effectively. I see people and situations much more clearly. Now...I know there's a fantastic "sucking" joke in here somwhere to end this. But I've been told that word is not very ladylike. How I do love a good metaphor...<br />
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<em>And above all things have fervent love for one another, for <span class="oblique">“love will cover a multitude of sins.” </span><span class="text 1Pet-4-9" id="en-NKJV-30456">Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. </span> </em><span class="text 1Pet-4-10" id="en-NKJV-30457"><em><sup class="versenum"> </sup>As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. </em>(I Peter 4:8-10)</span><br />
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<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-718028937231800432013-06-14T12:52:00.002-04:002013-06-14T12:52:12.393-04:00Dad, Dad, He's our Dad!<br />
As Father's Day approaches, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have my Dad. As my generation grew up, divorce became a lot more common...many of my peers grew up without a dad in their life every day. Maybe they got to see him on weekends. Or in the summer. Or holidays. And I've worked with so many children who had absolutely no father figure in their life. Some children rise up. But so many crumble and carry lifelong scars. So, like my Mom post, here's ten parenting tips I learned from my Dad:<br />
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1. <strong>Model confidence in excellence.</strong> There's no two ways about it. My father is a very smart man. Valedictorian of a large high school class. Finished his undergrad in three years. Is a doctor. Teaches ethics and bio-ethics. He's not arrogant about it. But he doesn't apologize either. He has a kind of quiet confidence that I've always tried to emulate. The world doesn't always value the smart kid in the class. So I try to let my kids know it's ok to be smart and confident in that. (Just don't let it get boastful.) Because with confidence in your God given abilities and lots of hard work, doors can open like scholarships and jobs and leadership opportunities.<br />
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2. <strong>Teach your kids to seek the truth.</strong> <strong>Teach them to seek answers to the tough questions</strong>. I don't think many kids grew up talking about apologetics at the Sunday dinner table, but I did. I learned a lot about Christianity and why my parents believed what they believed just by listening and asking questions at the dinner table. If my dad wanted to know something, he found out about it and learned about it. And this was before Google. Studying Bible passages...studying church history...taking things back to the Greek or Hebrew...these were not new concepts to me as an adult.<br />
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3. <strong>Treat your kids like valid human beings.</strong> I always felt like Dad listened to us and our points of view like we were an equal and not a goofy kid who didn't know anything. Even though a lot of times, I'm sure we were goofy ignorant kids and it took a LOT of patience! I will say that this is a struggle for me now. I am so glad my kids love to learn new things, but sometimes it's hard to be in the mood to listen about the burrowing habits of the Peruvian horned mouse.<br />
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4. <strong>Take an interest in their interests</strong>. Some of my favorite memories of my Dad are when he would take time out of his day to watch my cross country meets. That meant the world to me. I know that many times it wasn't convenient, but when he came, I was so proud! We would ride home in the car together <u>just</u> him and me and have good talks. And many summers he would take <u>just</u> me to the big sports store and we would take our time picking out the perfect running shoes for the season. I loved that!<br />
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5. <strong>Demonstrate to them the value of hard work.</strong> Family practice doctors work very, very hard. Lots of long hours and paperwork and cranky sick people and nights on call where the phone rings at 3 am. It may mean going in to deliver a baby...or telling Mabel Sue that her itchy toe can wait until tomorrow. I saw it all, and for some reason decided not to go into medicine... However, I did learn that any job that supports a family is going to require work, and a lot of it. Some of it is very rewarding. And some of it...just plain work.<br />
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6. <strong>Be a leader in your church in front of them</strong>. Dad served in lots of capacities at church while I was growing up. He was on the board. He taught a Sunday School class. He helped rewrite the church by-laws. He searched for pastors. But the thing I admire most is that he did it all with integrity and a peacemaking spirit. I think being a peacemaker is a rare and precious gift.<br />
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7. <strong>Speak wisdom into your children's lives. </strong>There are a handful of times when I remember clear and specific pieces of advice my dad has given me. One was that he told me to be sure enjoy my college years and take some classes just for fun. I did, resulting in things like ballet and choir and going to Spain for a semester. But on the more serious side, I remember him coming home from a Promise Keepers conference once (Remember those?) and he said he heard a lot about how racial divisions in the church need to be healed. He knew that he did not always have the opportunity for that kind of ministry, but I happened to be volunteering that week at a camp for inner-city kiddos, and he prayed that I might be the one with that opportunity. I feel like that was almost a prophetic moment. I see many times over my teen and adult life that I have had the privilege to reach across racial lines that seem to keep the American Church so very compartmentalized. I pray those opportunities continue.<br />
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8. <strong>Take your kids on adventures. </strong>Maybe we didn't travel the world in a sail boat (Doesn't everyone know a family like that? I do.), but we learned how to build a fire, pitch a tent, and canoe thanks to Dad. We hiked quite a few miles of state park trails in Indiana and beyond. We saw museums and caves and made lots of cool memories on summer vacations. Even if Dad's long legs had us kids scrambling to keep up most of the time.<br />
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9. <strong>Never underestimate the fun in a game of keep away. </strong>Some of my very earliest memories of my Dad were when he would take a toy, ball, etc. and hold it juuuust out of reach. We would lunge for it...and he would quickly switch hands. Foiled again! Hilarious! Again, Daddy! How loved and secure I felt when Dad was on my level. I love that my husband does the same for our kids, and seemed to have a knack for it the second they were born. Joy...overflowing.<br />
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10. <strong>Think through something before making a decision. </strong>It's no wonder I'm a ponderer by nature. Both my parents are big thinkers, but I think Dad is the greater methodical thinker. No rush. Weigh the facts. Consider the options. It can drive others crazy (Ahem, sorry, Honey). Yes, we heard what you said. We're just thinking about it. And it may take us awhile to choose our words as a response. Deal with it. But it is a trait, especially in parenting, that will save you from some rather bad and hastily made decisions.<br />
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So I close with verses that remind me of my Dad. And videos of two of my favorite sitcom dads just for fun. Love you, Daddy! Happiest Father's Day!<br />
<strong>Proverbs 14:26 - </strong><i>"Whoever fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge."</i><br />
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<strong>Proverbs 17:27 - </strong><i>"The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered."</i><br />
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<strong>Joshua 24:15 - </strong><i>"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."</i><br />
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<a href="http://youtu.be/zbo4mNS8fDg">http://youtu.be/zbo4mNS8fDg</a><br />
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<a href="http://youtu.be/nFY0HBkUm8o">http://youtu.be/nFY0HBkUm8o</a>Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-91533789540322180932013-06-07T20:39:00.000-04:002013-06-07T20:39:04.477-04:00And the Winner of the First Book Giveaway Is...My friend Jessica!<br />
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Which is so fitting because:<br />
A. She's a Media Specialist at a school. She has the power to spread the reading love.<br />
B. We drew the name out of a Colt's hat and she's one of the biggest Colts fans I know.<br />
C. She lives here in town and now I don't have to pay shipping! (Okay, maybe that's an advantage for me and not her...but hey...this cheap girl celebrates any dollar saved even though I would have been very happy to send it elsewhere.)<br />
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Congrats, I think you'll love the book and thanks to all who entered! Hopefully I will be giving more books away in the near future. Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging program.<br />
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Don't forget to pick up a copy of the book! It hits shelves on Tuesday, June 11!<br />
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<a href="http://mchristineweber.com/book/show/16124135-when-mockingbirds-sing"><img alt="When Mockingbirds Sing" class="aligncenter" height="475" src="http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1351878615l/16124135.jpg" style="border: 2px solid white; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-top: 2px;" width="310" /></a><br />
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Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-13639192082741599842013-06-03T11:27:00.001-04:002013-06-05T14:51:53.307-04:00First Ever Book Giveaway!I am trying my hand at being a literary critic this week. My main qualifications are as follows:<br />
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A. I killed my English classes.<br />
B. I am an avid reader.<br />
C. I have opinions about what I read.<br />
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So maybe that doesn't qualify me to be a professional critic, but I was fortunate enough to be asked to review a book that has just been released. Which kind of makes me feel like a secret rock star, so of course I said YES! And the best part is, I have an extra book, so one lucky commenter will get a copy gratis...free...no dinero! (Yes, I know two of those are Spanish, but it's the only other language I know.) Don't you want to know more? Here's the skinny....<br />
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<a href="http://mchristineweber.com/book/show/16124135-when-mockingbirds-sing"><img alt="When Mockingbirds Sing" class="aligncenter" height="475" src="http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1351878615l/16124135.jpg" style="border: 2px solid white; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-top: 2px;" width="310" /></a><br />
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The book is <em>When Mockingbirds Sing</em> by Billy Coffey. This is his third book, and really, I recommend them all (<em>Snow Day</em> and <em>Paper Angels</em> are his other titles). His website is on my blog roll if you want to go visit.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here's a summary of the book from the publisher:</span><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Leah is a child from Away, isolated from her peers because of her stutter. But then she begins painting scenes that are epic in scope, brilliant in detail, and suffused with rich, prophetic imagery. When the event foreshadowed in the first painting dramatically comes true, the town of Mattingly takes notice.</blockquote>
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Leah attributes her ability to foretell the future to an invisible friend she calls the Rainbow Man. Some of the townsfolk are enchanted with her. Others fear her. But there is one thing they all agree on—there is no such thing as the Rainbow Man.</blockquote>
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Her father, the town psychologist, is falling apart over his inability to heal his daughter or fix his marriage. And the town minister is unraveled by the notion a mere child with no formal training may be hearing from God more clearly than he does.</blockquote>
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While the town bickers over what to do with this strange child, the content of Leah’s paintings grows darker. Still, Leah insists that the Rainbow Man’s heart is pure. But then a dramatic and tragic turn of events leaves the town reeling and places everyone’s lives in danger. Now the people of Mattingly face a single choice:</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Will they cling to what they know . . . or embrace the things Leah believes in that cannot be seen?</blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here's my take:</span><br />
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I love Billy's writing because as a small town girl, I relate. I know I see corn fields outside my window instead of the Blue Ridge Mountains, but he describes American small town life with the richness and reality of one who's lived it. I love that, because he knows just how to put to pen what I've experienced for years...that odd combination of wonderful close-knit ties of community, strong values, and then a darker side that's rarely discussed in the name of good manners. I feel like I've met his characters at the store a time or two. I went to church with them. I graduated with them. While I can relate to each character, I seem to find myself fitting in particular characters' shoes pretty well. The opening of the story puts us in the birthday party for a nine year old girl. Guess who's daughter turned nine the day after I began reading the book? I was instantly hooked.<br />
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One of my favorite writers growing up was Frank Peretti. I loved that he looked beyond the senses of what we physically know on this earth and brought another spiritual dimension to Christian fiction. I will always appreciate the layers of spiritual depth, imagination and intelligence in his work. Now I'm a bit uncomfortable making comparisons because Mr. Coffey most certainly has his own unique voice as a writer, BUT. This book did for me what I so love about Peretti's books. It opens the door to a God so much bigger and fantastic than what small boxes our human brains have tended to put Him in. Wrapped up in a beautifully told, compelling, and suspenseful story, there is a message that God's ways of working can be far beyond of what we can dream for ourselves. That God still masterfully draws people to Himself. And that heroes can be found in the most unlikely of people. Makes me think of how the Bible is full of similar underdogs that God takes and uses for His glory. So I think you will be rooting for the underdogs just like I did in <em>When Mockingbirds Sing</em>.<br />
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(Plus, there's birds that really creeped me out. Just sayin'. Great reading for a stormy summer night under the covers with a flashlight!)<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">How to win your copy!</span><br />
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So, if you would like your own copy of the book, please leave your name and email address in the comments below. One time only, please. If you are my facebook friend, I'll let you have one additional entry in the contest by sharing a link to this post, but you must let me know you shared! Leave your named and "shared on facebook" in the comments section here or tag me on facebook, please and thank you. Entries must be in by 8pm Eastern on Friday June 7th, and then my nine year old daughter will pick a random winner from a hat, old school style. I will contact the winner by email and snail mail the winner the book. You must be in the U.S. to win, although if any of my out of country relatives or friends want to enter and have an address I can send it to in the states...well...I think that counts! So here goes the first ever giveaway for my blog...Woo hoo! I'm a rock star!<br />
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<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">**PLEASE NOTE***</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">If for some reason your comment does NOT appear, please enter the contest by emailing me your name by Friday at 8p.m. Eastern. It seems Blogger is not a fan of comments by phone. My email address is:</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><a href="mailto:phillipser@hotmail.com">phillipser@hotmail.com</a> .</span><br />
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<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-49526100103943827892013-05-29T19:55:00.001-04:002013-05-29T19:55:33.141-04:00"I'm Bored" is Not Allowed: AKA the Sabelhaus Summer ProjectSummer is weird to me. In theory, it seems like it should be the best season of the year. Warm weather, outdoor fun, a more relaxed schedule...What's not to love? But since entering adulthood, Summer and I have had a love/hate relationship. I don't know what it is, but my mood seems to dive with Memorial Day and doesn't bounce back until after Labor Day. Maybe it's the lack of routine. Or too many daylight hours. Or the fact that I've usually had to work in an office indoors all day while my heart is in the summers of my childhood, where there are endless hours to play outdoors and dream. Whatever the case, I've found that my Summer Blues are much improved when I have something to look forward to.<br />
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Enter the Sabelhaus Summer Project!<br />
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This summer, a bunch of things have come together to give me a much anticipated summer. First, my children are big enough to make outings about 50 billion times more enjoyable than they were a few years ago. I am unemployed for the moment, making me a full-time at home Momma with very little scheduled this summer. And if we stretch our dollars, we can afford a little bit of extra gas for local trips and treats. So, my brain has been churning away, excited to make this a summer I can enjoy with my kids. I truly want them to experience some new things...learn through fun...pick up some values along the way...and most of all, NOT BE BRAINLESSLY BORED. Believe me, I am so very OK with some daily TV time, game time, and general chill time. But when I don't set up some kind of structure, we seem to digress into endless video games and TV...and well, Facebook for me...<br />
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So. Ahem. I made a list of things we can do this summer. Included are some general guidelines to the day that will help them earn their weekly allowance. Most of the activities are cheap, free, or use items we already have. When I share the list with my kids, they will also know how much it costs. If they really, really want to do something that's a little out of the budget that week, I may ask them to chip in. (Right now they have more cash on hand than I do, so I don't think it's a bad deal. Financial literacy and all.) The places mentioned are mostly local to Terre Haute, Indiana, and I've tried to include a website for reference. If you live somewhere else, perhaps they will serve as a starting point if you're looking for some new things to try this summer. I got a few of my items from other people's summer lists, so feel free to borrow! When I started writing them all down, however, I was pleasantly surprised about the number of things there are to do around here with kids. Goooo Haute! These activities are also geared toward kids preschool to mid-elementary school age. I'm guessing my almost five year old probably won't relish every moment at the history museum, and my nine year old might roll her eyes and opt out of story time at the library to read her own big kid stuff...but hey, we're a family, and sometimes you must make compromises to accomplish the goals of the team. I plan to ask my husband and the kids if they have any other ideas and we'll see if we can do some of those, too. Hopefully, I'll have an update or two to share with you as the summer goes along. I don't always do parenting type stuff on here, but this list seemed pretty natural to share. So before I babble on incessantly, I give you....<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"I'm Bored" Is Not Allowed: </span><br />
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Week day summer rule- Before you may play computer, Wii, or watch TV, the following must be completed:<br />
1. Straighten your bed.<br />
2. Get dressed and brush hair/teeth.<br />
3. Eat breakfast.<br />
4. Read a book, write, or do something math related for 30 minutes.<br />
5. Complete any other chores Mom assigns you for the day.<br />
6. Like the rest of the year, you are still responsible for having a clean room, taking all dirty laundry to the laundry room by Saturday, feeding pets, and washing the basement bathroom sink.<br />
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When chores are done for the day, here are some things we can choose to do this summer! Maybe you can think of some ideas to add! Let's see how many we can mark off the list, and let's not be borrrrrrred.<br />
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1. Visit the library. Get books, do the summer reading program,and go to library events. (Story time every Wednesday at 10 am.) <a href="http://www.vigo.lib.in.us/yp/summer">http://www.vigo.lib.in.us/yp/summer</a> Cost: FREE!<br />
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2. Go to the Terre Haute Children's Museum!<br />
<a href="http://thchildrensmuseum.com/">http://thchildrensmuseum.com/</a> Cost: FREE for members- that's us!<br />
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3. Visit the Nature Center and Native American Museum at Dobbs Park. <br />
<a href="http://www.terrehaute.in.gov/departments/parks/city-parks/dobbs">http://www.terrehaute.in.gov/departments/parks/city-parks/dobbs</a> Cost: FREE!<br />
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4. Go swimming! How many places can we swim? We could try...Hawthorn Park, Fowler Park, Sullivan Lake, Shakamak State Park, Lieber State Park, Deming Park... <br />
Cost: FREE to a few bucks/person<br />
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5. Make up a Lip Sync Dance. Choose a song. Make up a dance to it and pretend to sing the words. Mom will video tape it so we can giggle later. Cost: FREE!<br />
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6. See a movie! Meadows Theater Free Kids' Summer Movies are on Tues, Wed, and Thurs at 10 am Cost: FREE! (Well, maybe we'll get some snacks, too.) <br />
Or, we can convince Daddy to take us to the Drive-in Movie Theater! <a href="http://starlitebloomington.com/">http://starlitebloomington.com/</a><br />
Cost: $24 for our family plus the cost of giant pickles or other concession goodies.<br />
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7. Pick strawberries or blueberries. Yum! Cost: Depends on price of berries and how long we last...<br />
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8. Visit a Farmer's Market and buy some fresh yummy produce. (Saturday mornings)<br />
Cost: Depends on how hungry we get looking at all that food. <a href="http://www.downtownterrehautefarmersmarket.com/">http://www.downtownterrehautefarmersmarket.com/</a><br />
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9. Go for a hike. But which State Park or Rec Area to choose? There's one less than an hour away in every direction!<br />
Cost: $5/car for an Indiana State Park. Illinois Parks are FREE.<br />
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10. Ride our bikes on the Heritage Trail. <br />
<a href="http://www.traillink.com/trail/national-road-heritage-trail-(terre-haute">http://www.traillink.com/trail/national-road-heritage-trail-(terre-haute</a>)<br />
Cost: You guessed it, FREE! But Mom will have to figure out how to get all the bikes on/in the car...<br />
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11. Listen to an outdoor concert in the park! (Usually Saturday evenings)<br />
<a href="http://terrehautecommunityband.org/thcb.html">http://terrehautecommunityband.org/thcb.html</a> Cost: FREE<br />
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12. Read a chapter book out loud together before bed. :) Cost: FREE<br />
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13. Make something to feed the squirrels and birds. <br />
Cost: Recycle things to make it, plus the cost of bird seed.<br />
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14. Plant something and watch it grow. Cost: Soil and seeds.<br />
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15. Visit Ryves Youth Center and play with other kids. Maybe we can think of a project or games to bring or join in with their fun stuff?<br />
Cost: FREE! <a href="http://www.archindy.org/cc/ryves/">http://www.archindy.org/cc/ryves/</a><br />
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16. Visit the Bouncin' Barn and jump until we're silly! <br />
<a href="http://thebouncinbarn.weebly.com/">http://thebouncinbarn.weebly.com/</a> Cost: $5/kid Mon-Thurs<br />
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17. Learn piano or play music games on the computer. <br />
Cost: FREE thanks to Mom and Dad and the joys of the Internet(which is not free)!<br />
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18. Set up a recycling bin and visit the recycling center so we can start using our resources more wisely!<br />
<a href="http://www.indstate.edu/facilities/recycle/">http://www.indstate.edu/facilities/recycle/</a> Cost: FREE <br />
<br />
19. Go bowling. Cost: $2.75/kid for shoe rental plus whatever Mom has to pay because let's face it, she'll be bowling like there's no tomorrow! <br />
<a href="https://www.kidsbowlfree.com/center.php?alley_id=1421">https://www.kidsbowlfree.com/center.php?alley_id=1421</a><br />
<br />
20. See some alpacas! And probably some nuns! <br />
<a href="http://spsmw.org/white-violet-farm-alpacas/">http://spsmw.org/white-violet-farm-alpacas/</a> Cost: FREE, I think?<br />
<br />
21. See some cool art at the Swope Art Museum. <br />
<a href="http://www.swope.org/visit-us/">http://www.swope.org/visit-us/</a> Cost: FREE!<br />
<br />
22. See some cool history at the Vigo County Historical Society. <br />
<a href="http://www.vchs.co/">http://www.vchs.co/</a> Cost: FREE!<br />
<br />
23. Go roller skating. <br />
Cost: Wednesday Family Night, $1.00 entrance and $2.00 skate rentals, so $15 for the family<br />
<a href="http://www.skateworldin.com/TerreHaute/">http://www.skateworldin.com/TerreHaute/</a><br />
<br />
24. Go to Bogey's Family Fun Center. <br />
Cost: Mom and Dad will get you some tokens, but you can bring allowance money to play extra games. <a href="http://www.bogeybear.net/">http://www.bogeybear.net/</a><br />
<br />
25. Paint a masterpiece or create your own art project. (Let's get out all the craft stuff and make something. I think there's even a leather punch set somewhere...) Cost: FREE<br />
<br />
26. Build a fort in the basement. Play the Imagination Game. Cost: FREE<br />
<br />
27. Cook dinner for Daddy. You can help me shop and figure out what to make. Cost: Whatever the food costs, but I'm guessing we won't be having lobster.<br />
<br />
28. Act out Bible stories. Be sure and put together costumes! Cost: FREE<br />
<br />
29. Go to the Dollar Store and find something awesome for a dollar! Cost: $1/kid= $3(plus tax)<br />
<br />
30. Make sidewalk chalk paint and paint the sidewalk. Cost: Couple $$ for chalk<br />
<br />
31. Invite a friend over to play or do things with our Parents of Young Kids group from church!<br />
Cost: Usually FREE<br />
<br />
32. Visit a playground or park we've never been to before. Make up a nature scavenger hunt to do while we're there. Cost: FREE<br />
<br />
33. Learn the rules a sport or game we've never played before and try it out. Cost: FREE<br />
<br />
34. Three words: water balloon fight. Cost: We'll get the good balloons that cost more than a dollar.<br />
<br />
35. Have a camp out in the backyard (or Uncle David's backyard). Make s'mores. <br />
Cost: Our backyard, FREE. S'mores, a few dollars. Travel to Michigan, that may get more pricey. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-39944087975533509362013-05-22T15:43:00.001-04:002013-05-22T15:43:58.368-04:00A Voice to CreateMy daughter was in first grade when her teacher came to me at a school function and said, "I just love seeing what she writes. She already has a voice!"<br />
<br />
That's probably one of the best compliments I could get about one of my children. Even at the young ages of 9, 7, and 59 days until 5 (He keeps me informed of the birthday countdown), my kids desire to express their unique take on the world as they know it. They want to create their own stories. They sing their own songs. They like starting with a blank piece of paper and turning into a masterpiece of their choosing. They constantly play what they call the G-A-M-E (Imagination only, no toys required). They love to create and they are finding their unique voice.<br />
<br />
Not surprising, considering their parents tend to walk on the creative side of life. If my husband and I aren't creating something, we tend to lose our joy. Yeah, I would be that person at work who would have an idea and actually go and ask my boss for permission to make it happen. Usually resulting in a lot more work than I intended, but I love seeing an idea come into reality. When I spent a semester in Spain in college, I paid the bouncy little man who owned the music shop a nominal fee just to play his piano in the back room for 30 minutes. No lessons, no books- just played and sang my heart out. I'm pretty sure he thought I was nuts, but I'm sure he considered all Americans nuts... My dear husband really can't NOT have a couple projects going at any given time. Right now there's an almost finished 5' x 9' utility trailer in our garage that he made from scratch. Why? Because he wanted one and knew he could figure it out. (And making it yourself is always cheaper.) Sometimes we just have to have a home jam session. Although, that's a bit difficult with three small children afoot.<br />
<br />
So yes, we are a family of creators. Frank and I met serving on a campus ministry worship team, and we've been serving as part of a worship team somewhere ever since. I feel a kind of kinship to the Levites appointed by David in the Bible whose job it was to make joyful sounds(I Chronicles 15). Because that's what we do! And also like David in the Psalms, nothing brings me through the tough times like putting my focus on God and worshipping through music. Or writing. Or making something hideous in play-dough with my kids. Something about creating sooths the soul and brings life.<br />
<br />
I believe that every human is made in the image of God, and part of that is God as Creator. So in turn...people are creators. We can't help but create. It's who we are! I think there's many people that suppress this in their adult life, rationalizing that whatever they create isn't worthy of a museum and not worth their time. But whether it's a yummy meal or a beautifully landscaped yard or the perfect spreadsheet solution to a workplace conundrum or making a craft with friends or building a trailer or building a relationship with another human being, we create. In those creations there is a unique voice to be shared, a single facet among the billion facets of our Creator. And how I long to be a joyful sound reflecting just a tiny, tiny bit of my Creator's beauty in my creations.<br />
<br />
One of my blog friends, Matt Appling, is an art teacher who wrote a whole book on this very thing...(Go visit him! <a href="http://mattappling.com/">http://mattappling.com/</a>) In Life After Art, he describes what happens as we leave the art room as a child, and how our desire to create beauty fades. For me, this desire never really went away. I must create. I simply must. But...this passage grabbed a hold of me and didn't let go:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"It was exceedingly easier for mankind to fall than it was for God to redeem His beloved and fragile creation from sin.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
When resolving to create beauty in the world, remember this: beauty is fragile. It is precious. It takes a lot more work to create beauty than it does to destroy it. Creating beauty will be meaningful but difficult work. This is not the place for laziness or fearfulness. And all along the way, ugliness will be crouching at your door, waiting to steal it from you."<br />
</blockquote>
So...what are you creating? What does your creative voice say? Is it intentional or not? Is it beautiful? Is it ugly? Is laziness or fear keeping you from creating? How is your Creator is reflected in your creations?<br />
<br />
<div>
<span></span><em>He who forms the mountains,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-22424A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup></em></div>
<div>
<span class="indent-1"><em><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Amos-4-13">who creates the wind,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-22424B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup></span></em></span></div>
<div>
<span class="indent-1"><em><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Amos-4-13">and who reveals his thoughts<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-22424C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup> to mankind,</span></em></span></div>
<div>
<span class="text Amos-4-13"><em>who turns dawn to darkness,</em></span></div>
<div>
<span class="indent-1"><em><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Amos-4-13">and treads on the heights of the earth<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-22424D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup>—</span></em></span></div>
<div>
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"><em> </em></span><span class="text Amos-4-13"><em>the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God Almighty is his name</em>. (Amos 4:13)</span></span></div>
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Amos-4-13"></span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Amos-4-13"><em><span class="text Col-1-15">The Son is the image<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29481A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup> of the invisible God,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29481B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup> the firstborn<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29481C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup> over all creation.</span> <span class="text Col-1-16" id="en-NIV-29482">For in him all things were created:<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29482D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup> things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29482E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup> all things have been created through him and for him.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29482F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></sup></span> </em><span class="text Col-1-17" id="en-NIV-29483"><em>He is before all things,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29483G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></sup> and in him all things hold together.</em> (Colossians 1:15-17)</span></span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Amos-4-13"></span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Amos-4-13"><em><span class="text Eph-4-20" id="en-NIV-29293">That, however, is not the way of life you learned</span> <span class="text Eph-4-21" id="en-NIV-29294">when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.</span> <span class="text Eph-4-22" id="en-NIV-29295">You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29295AV" title="See cross-reference AV">AV</a>)"></sup> your old self,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29295AW" title="See cross-reference AW">AW</a>)"></sup> which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29295AX" title="See cross-reference AX">AX</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Eph-4-23" id="en-NIV-29296"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>to be made new in the attitude of your minds;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29296AY" title="See cross-reference AY">AY</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Eph-4-24" id="en-NIV-29297"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>and to put on<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29297AZ" title="See cross-reference AZ">AZ</a>)"></sup> the new self,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29297BA" title="See cross-reference BA">BA</a>)"></sup> created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.</span></em><span class="text Eph-4-28" id="en-NIV-29301"> (Ephesians 4:20-24)<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29301BI" title="See cross-reference BI">BI</a>)"></sup></span><br />
<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-22424E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup></span></span><br />
<br />
Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-2797001286169841262013-05-07T16:55:00.002-04:002013-05-07T16:58:42.527-04:0010 Parenting Lessons I Stole from My MomUsually stealing is bad. (You hear that, kids? BAD! Even taking that dime from my purse! Yeah, you think I didn't see that, did you?) But these are ten things that my Mom did so well as a parent that I'm stealing them and using them with my own brood. Don't worry, Mom. This isn't your only present! It goes in the mail tomorrow... :)<br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>1. Support and love their Dad.</strong><br />
I know that this may be a different ballgame if you are divorced or separated from the father of one or all of your kids. Same goes if you are remarried, single, or working through a difficult marriage issue. It puts more of a "support the dad as much as is healthy for everyone" spin on it. But if you are married to the father of your kids, let them hear good things about him come from your mouth. If you are verbally tearing down your husband in front of your kids when he's there (or not there), what kind of message does that send? If they don't see you welcome him home...give him hugs and kisses...you get the idea. I was outwardly mortified as a teenager when my parents would walk around our neighborhood in the evenings HOLDING. HANDS. Ug! But inwardly, I was so glad that our family and my parents' love was secure. And my mom would always do things like be the first line of defense on the phone when dad was on call for work, or support his hobbies like running or biking even when she'd had a long day and probably wanted to run away herself.<br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>2. Let them see you in roles other than Mom.</strong><br />
When I was little, my Mom did not work outside the home. But as I got a little older, I saw her do things like host an after school Bible club at our house, do office work for my dad's medical office, work as the Worship Coordinator for our church, cover local events and write articles for local newspapers, and eventually she went back to school to finish her college degree. Seeing her as volunteer, employee, and student gave me insight that my mom was a valuable person even outside our home. I saw I had a lot of options for what I could do with my own future. As a mom, I have had seasons where I worked full time, part-time, and have stayed at home. All have had their unique challenges and rewards, and I have not felt that one was any "better" than the other. I hope that my daughter and my sons realize that God may give them different seasons of work outside the home and inside the home. Listening to His timing and providing for their families' needs the best way they can in that season is the more important thing.<br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>3. Teach them independence intentionally.</strong><br />
My mom has always been a good teacher. She wanted to make sure that her children were prepared for life on their own. We had chores. Lots of chores. Every summer morning there was a list of chores for each of us on the kitchen table from cleaning toilets to cleaning our rooms to trimming those infernal bushes every summer. And the chores had to be done before Mom came home from work. Or else. When you began high school in our house, the laundering of your own clothes became your responsibility. Mom also taught us about money. Saving, tithing, spending. I had my own checking account at an early age. She taught us to cook as we helped to cook. Her babies would not enter the adult world without the skills to take care of themselves. <br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>4. Reveal to them the joy of simple things.</strong><br />
Some of my favorite memories of childhood were picking violets and making dandelion chains...watching the clouds...taking walks...having a picnic...enjoying the free awesome stuff that God has given us. Yes, my kids like their TV time and video games...but we take a lot of time to enjoy the simple things, too.<br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>5. Be an active participant in the things you do with your kids.</strong><br />
When we went to the pond every summer, Mom jumped in, too. She loves to swim. When we went to the roller rink, Mom skated- backwards! She loves to skate. We'd dance around the living room to the radio and Mom would join in and show us dances that she did as a kid. She likes her toes in the dirt on a warm day. And recently she braved the trampoline with my kids. She rarely was the mom that sat and watched her kids have fun. She was a part of the fun. Let me never be too grown up to join in the fun!<br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>6. It's okay for moms to apologize to their children.</strong><br />
News flash: Moms make mistakes. I've made plenty. But I distinctly remember times that my Mom apologized to me. Usually when she lost her temper. She didn't release me from responsibility or punishment if I had done something wrong (also usually the case), but her apologies taught me that saying things in anger is not ok and that moms are, in fact, human.<br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>7. Model a love of learning.</strong><br />
Being a nerdy family, there were always plenty of books around the house and trips to the library. There were family vacations where we took historical tours of Abraham Lincoln's past or explored Mammoth Caves. It is not unusual for both my parents to be found reading side by side. My siblings and I always did well in school, but our parents sparked in us a love of learning beyond the walls of formal education. We are all know-it-alls and we kind of love that. I am just thankful that I live in the era where I can google the answers to questions my kids ask that I don't know. Because they have a lot of questions. And I gotta keep that spark alive!<br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>8. Encourage them to be the odd duck.</strong><br />
My mom is a fantastically creative person. She sings, plays piano, and composes music. She writes for a living. She always says she's a terrible artist, but she taught me about art in many forms and about appreciating it. I think for much of her childhood she felt like the odd duck out...a dodecahedron peg in a square peg world. So when we would create worlds and languages in our imagination....wanted to play songs of our own instead of practice our piano lesson...spend hours doing any number of odd duck things...she understood. And knew that it would serve us well later in life even if most of the world didn't "get" it.<br />
<br />
<strong>9. Listen to the "big" problems in your child's life.</strong><br />
Adults tend to minimize kids' intelligence and problems. I don't get that. I think most of the problems we have with kids could be worked out by simply treating them as a real person. When you acknowledge a child is smart and let them know their issue is worth listening to, that goes a long, long way to working things out. I was a pretty care free kid until I went to middle school. Then my friends started this once a month cycle of fighting and making up. I would get so upset that so-and-so and so-and-so weren't talking to each other anymore and come home and just pour it all out on my mom. She would listen. Treat it as a real problem. And gave me a little advice, too. But mostly she just listened. When I had broken heart as a teenager, she would drive me around town and let me cry it out or take me on a walk to work out the anger. Not that I would always let her...but I always knew she was there if I wanted to talk, walk, or drive it out.<br />
<br />
<strong>10. Walk out your faith in front of them.</strong><br />
This by far is the most important. And the most difficult. There are many times when the day far outlasts my patience as a parent. (I had one of those days yesterday, in fact!) And I grunt out the words to "Jesus Loves Me" at bedtime and I have to silently confess before I pray with my children. But if a negative and grumpy spirit starts ruling the whole day, week, month...it usually means I've neglected my relationship with God. I haven't been reading my Bible regularly. I've neglected to pray. I've let the to-do's and temporary circumstances take ground where worship and a correct perspective used to be. I'm pretty sure every Christian mom struggles in this. ( If you don't, PLEASE share your wisdom!) But I know I will keep fighting to keep my faith first and growing. I will intentionally teach my kids about Jesus, God, and the Bible. We may not do a family devotional each evening, but we read the Children's Bible and answer the questions at the end of the story. We make God an everyday part of our conversation. And that's certainly important- my parents did similar things with me. But there's something about a true and deep relationship with Christ that can't be explained or taught in a book. Some of my most treasured memories of my mother are of times when I really wasn't supposed to be there. I was the early bird of my siblings, and countless mornings I would find my mom sitting, looking out the window, praying, and reveling in the early quiet of the day. Two things were always with her- an open Bible and a steaming cup of coffee. So many nights I went to sleep to the sound of Mom playing the piano and singing...or on those summer nights when the windows were open it was Mom playing her flute on the porch. In those moments I knew, surely, that God was more than stories in a book. He was something worthy of my mother's beautiful worship and devotion.<br />
<br />
Every parent falls short of perfection, whether we repeat the mistakes of our own parents or blaze a trail of mistakes all our own. But if I get one thing right, I hope it's living a life of worship that speaks louder than any words I could impart to my kids. With every passing year I realize more just how precious a gift that was from my Mom...how beautiful and how rare. I love you, Momma. Happy Mother's Day and thank you for being my Mom!<br />
<br />
<em>Let the peace of Christ<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29533A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup> rule in your hearts, since as members of one body<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29533B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup> you were called to peace.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29533C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup> And be thankful. <span class="text Col-3-16" id="en-NIV-29534"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>Let the message of Christ<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29534D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup> dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29534E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup> through psalms,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29534F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></sup> hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29534G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Col-3-17" id="en-NIV-29535"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>And whatever you do,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29535H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)"></sup> whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29535I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)"></sup> to God the Father through him.</span></em> (Colossians 3:15-17)<br />
<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-30127843351627904482013-04-30T16:40:00.001-04:002013-04-30T16:40:17.525-04:00Comfort ZoneI like being comfortable. A few weeks ago my husband and I were cruising the aisles of Big Lots (this is how we roll), and happened upon some memory foam pillows. Name brand! $12 each! Well our current pillows had pretty much had it...so we took a chance. And every night since that fateful day, we've been sighing with satisfaction as we hit the hay. These things are AWESOME! Comfy bed....comfy jammies...comfy pillow...it's a good way to end a day. I've been waking up right before the alarm, well rested. The pillow may not be 100% responsible, but I think it's been a huge factor. (Did I mention it was $12???)<br />
<br />
We may not live in the nicest home or drive the nicest cars, but we have a home and two cars in a quieter neighborhood by a school. Frank has a good job. We have plenty to wear and plenty to eat. We have three healthy, smart and beautiful children. We have a dog...a cat...two guinea pigs. We even have some luxuries, like our stash of musical instruments and more than 100 channels at the press of the remote button. We have fantastic families and friends and we're starting to realize how wonderful our new church family is. We are blessed. We live a comfortable life. And there are many around us who do the same.<br />
<br />
However, just a few minutes away, there's an elementary school where almost 90 per cent of the kids participate in the free lunch program. Yes, 89.4% to be exact during the 2011-2012 school year. The most recent census says that 19% of the people in my county live below the poverty line, but the poverty rate among children is over 25%. According to the CASA website, there are over 300 children in my county in foster care on any given day. Recently, there has been over 300 inmates in our county jail, not to mention the hundreds in the federal penitentiary in our community and the three state correctional facilities less than an hour's drive from here. I couldn't find statistics on the poverty rate for the elderly in my county, and that is both interesting and sad to me. Add in many living in facilities to care for mental health, physical health, juvenile detention centers, group homes, homeless shelters, addiction treatment centers....<br />
<br />
Why all the depressing in-your-face stats? Well, besides proving that I indeed am related to my economist brother, a plain fact emerges. There are many that are not comfortable. In MY county. In yours. In my country and yours. And millions around the world living in circumstances we cannot imagine. This is overwhelming. We know this. The collective Church and local churches here do some amazing things to try to minister to people and meet their needs. Locally and globally. I don't want to downplay that. And yet, there seems to be a frustrating lack of change as we see generation after generation in physical, emotional, and spiritual poverty.<br />
<br />
Here's the truth. I don't know the answers to these big needs. I have a few clues and hunches based on my work with non-profits, churches, schools, and workforce development in the last 12 odd years. But this is what I read:<br />
<br />
<em>Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-24043F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></sup> prepared for you since the creation of the world.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-24043G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></sup> <span class="text Matt-25-35" id="en-NIV-24044"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-24044H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)"></sup></span></span> <span class="text Matt-25-36" id="en-NIV-24045"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>I needed clothes and you clothed me,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-24045I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)"></sup> I was sick and you looked after me,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-24045J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></sup> I was in prison and you came to visit me.’<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-24045K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)"></sup></span></span> </em><em><span class="text Matt-25-37" id="en-NIV-24046"><span class="woj">“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?</span></span> <span class="text Matt-25-38" id="en-NIV-24047"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?</span></span> <span class="text Matt-25-39" id="en-NIV-24048"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ </span></span></em><span class="text Matt-25-40" id="en-NIV-24049"><span class="woj"><em>“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’</em> (Matthew 25:34-40)</span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-25-40"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-25-40"><span class="woj"><span class="text Jas-1-27" id="en-NIV-30294"><em><sup class="versenum"> </sup>Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30294B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup> orphans and widows<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30294C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup> in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world</em>.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30294D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup></span>(James 1:27)</span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-25-40"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-25-40"><span class="woj">I see in these verses an active relationship with those who are the most vulnerable and have the most need. I don't see a check being written with a quick photo op. (Believe me, those working in non-profits see this a lot.) Yes, giving to the church you attend is important. Giving to charities we love is good. Be obedient to God and do that, please! But I think we've missed a crucial element in Christianity if we fail to get to know those in need. How do we even know WHAT they need unless we're willing to get to know them? Did Jesus give his disciples a big fat purse of silver and tell them good luck in life? Did hey say to Mary and Martha, "So sorry your brother died; here's a pamphlet on grief and we hope to see you at church next Sunday!" Maybe this is a little harsh. There's a lot of Christians who get it. But I think there's still many who don't. Jesus got to know those in need. He died for each and every single one of us. We are valuable enough for him to have a personal relationship with us. So why is it so difficult for us to build relationships </span></span>with "others"? Why do we always say that doing this type of serving is out of our comfort zone? I feel like we treat it like it's only for certain brave and bold Christians with a certain skill set or spiritual gift. Shouldn't it be the norm for a Christian? Do people with great need remind us a little too much that we have great needs that only God can fufill?<br />
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We had a gal at church last Sunday share about her experience going on mission trips to Nicaragua (Thanks, Kathy, for allowing me to share your story!!). She said that she was a happy wife, mom, volunteer, and church member who was actively involved. She said yes to going on a trip to Nicaragua and was unsure if God could even use her in a strange and scary capacity like that. But she said that instead of it being outside her comfort zone...she felt like she had, for the first time in her whole life, FOUND her comfort zone. She could be used by God to help those in desperate need and she loved that! This just resonated with me. What is my true comfort zone? What have I accepted as my comfort zone that might be a poor substitute for my real comfort zone in Christ? Who is God placing in my path that I can get to know and meet his or her needs?<br />
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So I end with lots of questions. But definitely questions worth working through. There is not a person on this earth in all of time that Jesus wasn't willing to give his life for. While I usually find it easy to love those in the margins of society, I still tend to get hung up on who is "worthy" of my time, money, and my help. Everyone is worthy. Every one. I just need to stay off my high horse and cling desperately to God in order to clearly see my true comfort zone.Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-72453956742526893962013-04-24T13:07:00.001-04:002013-04-24T13:12:10.149-04:00Thanks, God, for Cat PeeOk, so the last post was a little in depth. Serious. The short version is we need to consciously name the things for which we are thankful. They are all gifts from God to us. It helps put things in perspective about how good God is to us. Always. Here's how that process went for me one day last week:<br />
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As usual, I was doing some laundry. I had taken a load of laundry out of the dryer which I thought was dry, but noticed some of it was a little damp. I left the damp stuff in the dryer to re-dry and put the dry clothes in a basket when I started to notice a particular smell. A smell I know. A smell of cat urine. Well, the litter box is next to the dryer, so in vain I hoped that kitty just had a particularly smelly day.<br />
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Nope. Upon further investigation...he had peed. IN. THE. DRYER. On CLEAN clothes!?! That's about a 12 on the 1 to 10 disgust-o-meter. And so I started the clean up process. I swore under my breath. Grumble, grumble. General nastiness radiated from me. Put the clothes back in the washer. Grumble. Sit and figure out just how I am supposed to clean and sanitize the inside of my dryer. Grumble. Gag. Clean dryer. Bleach the heck out of the clothes. Glare at cat. Gag. Grumble. Stomp upstairs and check on kid happily playing. Grumble. Jump into shower to attempt to wash the smell from memory. <br />
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As I was standing under near boiling water, I finally took a deep breath. Wasn't I supposed to be thankful and content in all situations? I sighed and looked up at the bathroom ceiling that needs a paint job. <em>"God, WHAT in the world is there to be thankful about in this????"</em><br />
<em></em><br />
So I grudgingly starting making a mental list.<br />
1. I have a dryer that works and dries our clothes.<br />
2. We have clothes.<br />
3. I had a good supply of detergent and bleach and didn't have to make an extra trip to the store on a rainy day.<br />
4. It was a load of mostly towels, socks, and t-shirts that COULD be bleached.<br />
5. Josh the peeing cat was a birthday present to Frank and the cat makes him happy.<br />
6. We had the money to get Josh and rescue him from the humane society.<br />
7. I have a sensitive nose and caught this before my kids went to school smelling like cat pee.<br />
8. At least I didn't close the dryer with the cat in it.<br />
9. At least it wasn't the dog.<br />
10. At least is wasn't a kid.<br />
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At this point I was laughing out loud in the shower and the list went unfinished. And I marveled that instead of grumbling, I was now giggling and realizing just how ridiculous the whole thing was and how fortunate we are to even be in the position to have this happen! First world problem.<br />
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I know that all situations are not this easy to laugh at. Oh, believe me. I know. But there is always something to thank God for. If nothing else amid your dark days, you are reading this. Alive and breathing. In your own language. On a device that was merely science fiction a few decades ago.<br />
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<em><span class="text 1Thess-5-16" id="en-NIV-29638">Rejoice always,</span><span class="text 1Thess-5-17" id="en-NIV-29639"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>pray continually,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29639AF" title="See cross-reference AF">AF</a>)"></sup></span> </em><span class="text 1Thess-5-18" id="en-NIV-29640"><em>give thanks in all circumstances;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29640AG" title="See cross-reference AG">AG</a>)"></sup> for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.</em> (I Thessalonians 5:16-18)</span><br />
<span class="text 1Thess-5-18"></span><br />
So...um...thanks, God, for cat pee.<br />
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<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-91597237581804073642013-04-18T20:56:00.000-04:002013-04-18T20:56:45.120-04:00NamingOne of my own favorite things as a kid, and into college even, was choosing a title for a paper. I love a catchy name. Puns and ridiculousness welcome. I would name very serious paper with a wacky title. I'm sure my professors loved that...<br />
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And at this stage of life, many of my friends are having babies. The question is always, "What will the name be?" It's a HUGE decision! You can't name a baby the same thing your friend did, or give them the name of your creepy third grade teacher, or the name of your husband's ex-girlfriend! You can't pick a name that's too popular...you can't pick a name that's too strange...(try finding names that go with Sabelhaus. Abel was out right away.)<br />
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Have you ever been called a name that stung long after it was thrown at you? Loser. Fat. Ugly. Worthless. Why do we obsess with names? Why do they hold so much meaning?<br />
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For some reason, I've been reading books that address this theme of naming. (Not name it and claim it prosperity theology....no, no, no. Run away.) I'm working through<em> The Genesis Trilogy</em> by Madeline L'Engle and I just finished <em>One Thousand Gifts: Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are</em> by Ann Voskamp. How I love these women! Both share a beautiful use of the English language. They both tend farms and children and the mind. Well, I'm no farmer. (I do some yard work and love the outdoors.) But I most definitely am a mom and a thinker. There's so many great people in this world I admire, but with these women I find a certain kinship. Like they would understand my brain and heart more than most. And they both find "naming" to be essential to a joyous relationship between God and the people he created.<br />
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From Madeleine L'Engle's And It Was Good:<br />
"When Adam named the animals he made them real. My dog is named Timothy and my cat is named Titus. Farmers do not let their children name the animals who are going to be slaughtered or put in the pot. It is not easy to eat a ham you have known as Wilbur or a chicken called Flossy. When we respond to our names, or call someone else by name, it is already the beginning of a community expressing the image of God. To call someone by name is an act of prayer. We may abuse our names, and our prayer, but without names we are not human. And Adam and Eve, no matter what else they were, were human. At first there was nothing but joy, joy in being created, and in worshipping the God who had created them. And wonder: wonder at sunrises and starfish and dolphin and even dandelions....Were Adam and Eve beginning to take the image of God in themselves and loveliness of Eden for granted? Is that why they fell for Satan's temptations? When we take things for granted, then what we have is not enough, and we are rendered vulnerable to the wiles of the tempter."<br />
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From Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts:<br />
"Naming is Edenic. I name gifts and go back to the Garden and God in the beginning who first speaks a name and lets what is come into existence. This naming is how the first emptiness of space fills: the naming of light and land and sky. This first man's first task is to name. Adam completes creation with his Maker through the act of naming creatures, releasing the land from chaos, from the teeming, indefinable mass. I am seeing it too... naming offers the gift of recognition. When I name moments-string out laundry and name-pray, <em>thank You, Lord, for bedsheets in billowing winds, for fluff of sparrow landing on line, sun winter warm, and one last leaf still hanging in the orchard</em>- I am Adam and I discover my meaning and God's, and to name is to learn the language of Paradise. This naming work never ends for all the children of Adam. Naming to find an identity, our identity, God's."<br />
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Aren't those passages so very, very similar? I picked up these two books a week apart without any knowledge that some of the content would overlap. And I received a strong message that when we "forget" to physically put pen to paper or voice to speech or instrument to song or brush to painting or feet to dance or whatever part of you can express thanks in a tangible way...we choose to ignore God's innumerable blessings. We focus on ourselves. It is blatantly clear that by ourselves, humans are found lacking. We complain and compare. We feed the monsters of bitterness and jealousy. And we simultaneously push away God who is the only way to make us complete. Creativity, worship, gratitude- they all put a right perspective on who we are and how great God is. Ann Voskamp observed how impossible it is to be joyless while you are in the act of giving thanks. So she proposes that we "name" or write down all the gifts God has given us. All of them. If you want to know more, visit her website at <a href="http://onethousandgifts.com/">http://onethousandgifts.com/</a>. There's much more to the book, and I won't spoil it for you. But I love the simple and practical application of just putting into words what God gives us each day. <br />
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Reminds me of the old song,"Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done." Or "every blessing you pour out I turn back to praise." Or what we're studying in our sermon series right now at church: "<em>Bless the Lord, oh my soul and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of his benefits (Psalm 103:1-2)."</em> We sing it at church and read it in the Bible, but do we apply it? Do we really want joy, peace, and to find out that ourselves and our complaints are pretty small potatoes most of the time?<br />
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So I attempt to name the things for which I am thankful. I practice being thankful on good days and the not so good. I hung poster board by the back door. I grab a marker when I think of something and pause to write it down. By God's grace we do not receive what we deserve- eternal separation from God. Instead, we receive...<br />
Magnolia petals<br />
Son's giggles<br />
Daughter's crazy dances<br />
Smell of coffee beans<br />
And on...and on...<br />
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A good friend put this on facebook the other day. (He wants to credit it to Chris Rice since he was listening to a song of his at the time...but he's a pretty wise man himself.) "<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Peace comes when we realize: how small we are, how big God is and just how much He really loves us." I think practicing gratitude is the perfect start to this realization process and this path to peace.</span><br />
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<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-63554952841680568902013-04-10T12:37:00.002-04:002013-04-10T12:37:20.021-04:00Weak<span lang="">What do babies, Stephen Hawking, and a bad cup of coffee have in common? (Psssst...look at the title...) Yep. They are weak. Opposite of strong. Yeah, I know. Terrible riddle. But I can't think of a better way to introduce this. And on the onset, we think of those who are frail, tiny, and paralyzed as some of the most helpless in our world. BUT...there's this paradox. <br />
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When we were expecting our first bundle of joy, we went to great lengths to prepare for her. Rooms were painted, items were pondered and purchased, cribs were assembled, books were read, and there was a great stir in the circle of people we knew- a tiny helpless little baby forever changed our world. Likewise, what an impact "helpless" people such as Stephen Hawking, Christopher Reeve, and Joni Eareckson Tada have had despite their physical limitations. (And I will drive miles and miles to avoid a weak cup of coffee.) Weakness can be a powerful agent of love, power, and change. Weakness can force a reaction.<br />
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For close to two years now...my body has been weak. Just typing that makes my face distort a bit in a grimace. I hate admitting my weakness. I...ahem...am a rather independent person (I'm sure my husband can attest...he probably just rolled his eyes a little.). I hate asking for help. As my body has been fighting this crazy disease, one of the most frustrating things is just the weakness that comes along with it. And just as I think I'm getting strong again and tipping the scales to be heavy on the side of healthy, I've been sinking into weakness yet again. <br />
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It's never a good sign when your doctor's office calls you four times in one day. My routine blood tests came back a bit screwy in mid March, and my doctor had me go back for more to see where I was at right now. The results came last week, and most concerning is my liver function. I guess my liver decided to take a vacation but forgot to tell me. Livers are sneaky like that. I guess you can go a long time without obvious symptoms when your liver is unhappy. Who knew? The best guess right now is that it's a side effect from one of the medications I take. So that explains why I've been feeling run down even though I'm supposed to be feeling pretty good right now. So I was directed to stop taking my meds and did more blood work which came back a little better and now I check in with docs and do more tests and try to figure out what the best course of action is from here. Because I'm sick because of the meds and yet sick without them...so, time to figure that one out.<br />
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Honestly, when I was really sick last year, I was worried and scared, but so weak I just had to turn it over to God because I really couldn't do much else. Last week, however, I was frightened and angry. Really? Freak side effect equals possible damage to my liver? Just when things were kind of normal? So I...cleaned. And hung up pictures. And took my kids hiking. (And as a result spent a day on the couch feeling crappy.) But I COULD, at least, and I suppose it's a more positive response than curling up in a ball. And I talked with God a LOT. And I asked my family to pray. But it's difficult for me to share this kind of thing with the world at large. I make all kinds of justifications....I don't want others to worry unnecessarily. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I don't want my situation to take away from others in more dire need. Explaining the whole thing takes too long. I can still do a lot of "normal" stuff. And so forth. But a lot of times, I just don't want others to know my weakness. I look just fine on the outside. So move along, people...nothing to see here!<br />
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It's been hard for me to ask publicly for healing or prayer. I seriously have an aversion to going to the alter at church to pray and I'm sure that's a "whole nuther ball of wax" as one of my former teachers would say...But I pray personally for healing. And if I go into lifelong remission (no real "cure" to ulcerative colitis) due to medical care or miraculous healing from God, I will give all credit to Him. And if I struggle with this disease for the rest of my physical life, in my heart of hearts, I will humbly accept that God has a far bigger plan and more glory will go to Him than if I had a perfectly healthy body. I just keep coming back to this. Time after time (Cue Cyndi Lauper):<br />
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<em>Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it </em>(thorn in the flesh)<i> away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. </i>(2 Corinthians 12:8-10)
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Paradox. When I am weak, then I am strong. So let this be my first boast: I am weak right now. But my God...He is the very definition of strength and power. I'm not delighting in my weakness quite yet...but I will continue to praise God for the things I'm learning through being weak. And I will praise Him for the countless blessings in my life that far surpass the one obstacle of a not-so-healthy physical body.<br />
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I have an ultrasound to check out my liver later this week. Also about a million and one blood tests that I should get results for soon. I hope my liver is happily back to work and things keep improving (Really, I've been feeling good the last couple days!), so your prayers for healing are appreciated. But I ask that you pray more that God's power is made perfect in me...and in you...through our weaknesses.</span>Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-29282323449044154012013-03-25T11:09:00.000-04:002013-03-25T11:09:43.654-04:00Learning to Walk<span class="text 2John-1-6"><span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">I've been camped out in the Peters and Johns for my Bible reading lately. Unlike Paul, those guys were not into long letter writing. It cracks me up that John says, in essence, "I'd rather tell you this in person and not waste the paper and ink!" So I've kind of just been reading and re-reading these short letters to let them sink in a little. A few days ago, 2 John 1:9 stuck out, <em>"Anyone who <strong>runs</strong> ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30655R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)"></sup> does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son." </em> </span></span></span><br />
<span class="text 2John-1-6"><span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj"></span></span></span><br />
<span class="text 2John-1-6"><span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">The rusty wheels in my brain were turning. How many times have I tried to run ahead of God? I think I know what the next step is in life, and I run with it! Forgetting the Bible's teaching, I plow ahead of my own accord, taking on too much, and trying to make everything happen in my own power, leaving a wake of destruction behind that includes a lot of ugliness towards those I'm supposed to love the most! My life becomes an unmanageable sprint and soon I wear out and am forced to take a breather. It's at these points I remember to wait for God, who calmly strolls up and takes my hand. And then, we walk together until I get the notion that I need to run ahead again. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="text 2John-1-6"><span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj"></span></span></span><br />
<span class="text 2John-1-6"><span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">I don't think I'm alone in this, either. I see many Christians running around stressed out at all the tasks they must "do for God!" And certainly there are seasons where we just have more on our plates than others...but if we are continually busy, busy, busy...hmmm. Something has to give. And I think the thing that gets left behind is usually love. Consider 2 John 1:6: <em>"And this is love:<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30652J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></sup> that we <strong>walk</strong> in obedience to his commands.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30652K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)"></sup> As you have heard from the beginning,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-30652L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)"></sup> his command is that you <strong>walk</strong> in love." </em>Loving God takes intentional time spent with Him. It takes time to learn his commands and probably a lot more time to obey them and learn how to filter out the unnecessary things that have crept into our lives. Loving people takes time. You cannot sprint through life and expect to love well. And you can't refuse to move either...you must learn to walk. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="text 2John-1-6"><span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj"></span></span></span><br />
<span class="text 2John-1-6"><span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">So...are there any times when God asks us to run with him? Yes, I think so. And those are awesome times. One of my favorite verses, Isaiah 40:31, says<em>...but those who hope<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18452CQ" title="See cross-reference CQ">CQ</a>)"></sup> in the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-40-31">will renew their strength. </span></span><span class="text Isa-40-31">They will <strong>soar</strong> on wings like eagles; </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-40-31">they will <strong>run</strong> and not grow weary, </span></span></em><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-40-31"><em>they will <strong>walk</strong> and not be faint.</em></span></span> The only way we can be strong enough to run (Soar, even!) is to have discipline and do it with God, not by running ahead without him. The fastest marathon runners in the world didn't wake up one day, sign up for a race, and run sub-five minute miles for 26 plus miles! They worked incredibly hard to be able to run that fast for that long. And they STILL need periods of rest between runs. So we shouldn't be surprised that we go through seasons where our walk slows to a crawl, seasons of walking, and some seasons where God prepares us to run and soar. And when we stay close with him, he will give us wisdom to know when to slow down and when to speed up. Only God can soar 24/7, but he chose to send a Son who was human and had to rest like us. He also gives us the Holy Spirit that slows down to walk with us when we invite him to do so.</span></span></span><br />
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I feel like I'm living this out in my spiritual AND physical life lately. If you look back a few years in this blog, I got back into running about a year after my third baby was born. I have a hard time not hibernating during winter (Who doesn't?), but during the warmer months, I was pretty consistent in at least getting out to jog until this whole chronic illness thing. After a year and a half, I have yet to get back to running. On my better days, I do some extra walking with the doggie or kids, but my body just can't run yet. Hopefully I will keep feeling pretty good and build up some strength and endurance and be back chugging along at my turtle pace soon. But my goal of doing a half marathon before I'm 40 may have to wait awhile....seasons, seasons. But I CAN walk. Physically. Spiritually. I will walk. <br />
<span class="text 2John-1-6"><span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj"></span></span></span><br />
<span class="text 2John-1-6"><span class="text Matt-11-30"><span class="woj">Stress, worry, and exhaustion are not of God. In <span class="text 2John-1-6">Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus quotes Isaiah and says,<em><span class="text Matt-11-28" id="en-NIV-23488"><span class="woj">“Come to me,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23488AG" title="See cross-reference AG">AG</a>)"></sup> all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23488AH" title="See cross-reference AH">AH</a>)"></sup></span></span> <span class="text Matt-11-29" id="en-NIV-23489"><span class="woj">Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23489AI" title="See cross-reference AI">AI</a>)"></sup> for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23489AJ" title="See cross-reference AJ">AJ</a>)"></sup></span></span></em><span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-NIV-23490"><span class="woj"><em> For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” </em>I don't want to be the woman trying to sprint through life with heavy burdens, breaking down time and again. I want to be the one walking with Jesus every single step with love, gentleness, humility, and a rested soul. So...let's start walking.</span></span></span></span></span></span>Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-60004985725934874912013-03-20T15:59:00.000-04:002013-03-20T15:59:09.575-04:00Tender Heart(***Warning*** I am not a trained psychologist, but I do like to self-reflect.)<br />
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You know those personality tests they always want you to take in psychology classes and staff development workshops? Whether it's colors(Blue!) or letters(Feeling!) or animals(Golden Retriever!), mine pretty much come out the same way. I score pretty equal on logic and creativity. I score a little lower on the adventure/spontaneous side of things and a little higher on the loyalty/take care of details side of things. I'm about equal introvert vs. extrovert. But I always score highest on anything that asks if I'm driven by emotion/relationships. Because that's simply me. Emotions are big. And I love people.<br />
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I could always see some of the value in being made up this way...having a strong empathy for others means I go above and beyond to get along with people. I have always been passionate about...well....everything and everybody. So I am driven and do my best at work and at home and at church. Good things, right? But in the back of my mind I always thought that this was kind of an obstacle to overcome. Because I am also easily overwhelmed by...everything and everybody. Cry when I am sad, angry, happy, inspired, tired, sick, scared, excited, hungry. I used to cry when people won on the Price is Right. (Ok, I still do that.) There are simply many books and movies I have decided to stay away from altogether because I will be either terrified out of my mind or I know it will cause a black hole of sadness.(A healthy tender heart needs some boundaries.)<br />
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So many times I have consciously and unconsciously asked God to make me less emotional or at least more emotionally tough. It would be cool to be more adventurous and bungee jump for God or be an EMT and save people's lives without passing out because I heard the word "lipid." It would be awesome to be a person of boldness who freely speaks their opinions without fear of what it would do to the relationships with my 433 facebook friends. <br />
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And YET. I think it is counterproductive and even against God's will for my life when I try to be somebody else's personality. Yeah, there's a long list of weaknesses that could use some work. But I'm starting to find out that there's a lot more value in embracing the personality that God has given me and striving after the person I was made to be...instead of trying to be more like somebody else. And I have been given a very tender and passionate heart.<br />
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So...what do I DO with that? Well kids, let's form a circle and sing Kumbayha around the campfire and then watch Steel Magnolias and cry our eyes out.<br />
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Noooo. Just kidding. But I do have some clues:<br />
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1. I have recently ventured into territories unknown for the past decade- simply singing at church, in front, without having a large instrument to hide behind. If that isn't scary, I don't know what is. But if I have a lot of passion and emotion...if I am being sensitive to the message...the congregation...the music...the Holy Spirit...this will make me a better equipped to lead others in worship. As a translator almost. (Not being crazy emotional just to be crazy emotional.) But taking what was heard from the Bible and turning that into an honest and edifying emotional response...giving God glory...thankfulness...humility...joy...praise...stillness. You get it. I'm still a little guarded...a bit awkward I'm sure. But I'll get there. I'm so thankful to have others around me with large hearts to learn from!<br />
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2. God has used my tender heart to make me a person who prays constantly. If I'm broken hearted over people, their sin, or their situations, I will pray about it. Sometimes there's not a lot I can do physically for someone or about something, but I can pray. Sometimes I'm broken hearted about myself or my own situation, and so I pray...it helps to keep the emotion in check and not turn it into self-serving stuff like pity or bitterness. Sometimes praying has shown me that I do, in fact, need to put my compassion into a clear course of action. Sometimes it gives me peace that God's got it, and I over-reacted, and it is not my personal responsibility to save the universe...or at least all the doggies and kitties that come on the screen when Sarah MacLachlan sings a sad, sad, song.<br />
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3. I am a good balance to those on Team God who have other gifts. I admire those who are great at managing money, who have vision to see where the church is going, and who love serving in rooms full of babies. Those are all strengths I simply do not have. But if you need me to get to the heart of the matter? I got that. I will remind you that hard hearts need to go. It's also a gift that's beneficial to my family. I need my strong and stoic husband to pull me back when I go off the deep end. He needs me to know it's ok to venture into deeper waters. Our kids can learn from us both. (Although I wish that Angry Mom and Angry Wife made less appearances.)<br />
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So, do you have a tender heart like I do? Do you see it as a strength or a weakness?<br />
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<em>Psalm 51:17 </em><br />
<em>My sacrifice,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14709AO" title="See cross-reference AO">AO</a>)"></sup> O God, is<sup> </sup>a broken spirit;<br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-51-17">a broken and contrite heart<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14709AP" title="See cross-reference AP">AP</a>)"></sup></span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-51-17">you, God, will not despise.</span></span></em><br />
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<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-28895795649724658062013-03-13T12:19:00.002-04:002013-03-13T13:16:51.402-04:00I Want to Tell You I Love YouI want to tell you I love you.<br />
I knew you before you were born, before your parents were born, before your grandparents were born. I saw you, and it was love at first sight. You are unlike any other person in all of time. I have given you dreams and talents and quirks that no one else shares. I have a purpose for you and only you.<br />
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I want to tell you I love you.<br />
Those days of sunshine that are delicious and warm, full of waving trees and fresh cut grass. The miracle of water ebbing, flowing. Those sunsets that take your breath away and the thunderclouds that seem too massive to be real. I made them for you as hints of my love.<br />
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I want to tell you I love you.<br />
I know every injustice done to you. I know every hurt and I grieve with you. Every single person in this life will fail you at least once. One of the hardest parts of life is knowing when to forgive and move forward and when it's time to step away. But I will never fail you. Never.<br />
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I want to tell you I love you.<br />
I know that the circumstances of your life will not always make sense. Human beings and the world are finite. Limited. Sin has personal and corporate consequence. Faith in an infinite God of truth and love is not easy. Trust in an infinite God of truth and love is not common.<br />
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I want to tell you I love you.<br />
True love is never selfish and it does not manipulate. I will never force you or trick you to love me back. The gift of decision is yours. I will send reminders of my love throughout your life. Through words and people and nature and art and more. Birth to death. <br />
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I want to tell you I love you.<br />
When you consider my love, I am a breath away. A split-second. A heart beat. It does not matter what you have done, what you have not done, what you have thought about doing. There's grace for it all. Every single second. So, I can start now...healing that gaping ache inside. I want to replace it. With Hope. Life. Love eternal. <br />
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I want to tell you I love you.<br />
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<em>Jer. 29:11 "<span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-NIV-19647">For I know the plans<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-19647A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup> I have for you,” declares the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, “plans to prosper<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-19647B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup> you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."</span></em><br />
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Dedicated to those with big hurts, big questions, and those trying to find where they fit. So, pretty much all of us...Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-174929602551119472013-03-06T12:52:00.000-05:002013-03-06T12:52:39.611-05:00Warning: Experienced Mom Tells AllThis post is for all you mommas out there. It occurred to me as I was cleaning what I can only guess is cat or dog vomit from the new front room carpet, that I am not a newbie mom anymore. (I don't know why my best thinking is done during chores like this...but ahhh, such is my glamorous life.)<br />
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All of my kids are pretty much "big kids" now. My baby will turn five this summer and will head off to the kindergarten in August. In some ways it seems like they are growing so fast; some periods of time from the past nine years of motherhood have become a blur in my memory. But in most ways, I am just so happy to be where we are right exactly now. Everyone can talk, walk, and use the bathroom for themselves. No one has hit the drama and hormones of the pre-teen years yet. Parenthood is never easy, mind you. I have to break up fights over the Wii daily. But I have deemed this the "golden age" and will delight in it while it's here!<br />
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So I've been living it up here in pre-school/elementary wonderland, and my little guy and I have been going on fun adventures before he goes to the Big K in the fall. And we've met lots of parents and kiddos doing the same thing. This time around, however, I feel like I am the one who's been around the momma block more than most. I'm the one who's been through the nights of little sleep and toddler-proofing and tantrums and came out wiser and stronger on the other side. Let's face it, while our little darlings learn so much during the first few years of life, the learning curve for parents seems just as steep!<br />
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So as I look back on my time as a parent...I remember myself as a new mom barely balancing full time work and irregular hours and pumping breast milk in my car before a meeting and how new and scary everything was even though my little baby girl was well worth any sacrifice. I remember becoming a family of four and how grown-up I thought my tiny 19 month old girl seemed next to her new baby brother. I remember going back to work barely 6 weeks after giving birth so our family would survive and getting a phone call that there was a mistake and I still owed money on my first baby before getting the hospital bills for the second. I remember how having my third baby seemed almost like a vacation in the hospital (A room to myself, room service, and only one child to care for? Cake, I tell you! CAKE!). I remember how freeing it was to know I didn't have to go back to work as I made the transition to stay-at-home mom. Until the months rolled by, and I felt isolated and overwhelmed by three young children who demanded all my time and energy and even the simplest outings led to meltdowns of kids and mom alike.<br />
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I love my kids fiercely. All of my kids are beautiful, smart, God-given wonders and there are so many milestones to celebrate during their first years on planet earth...I am incredibly thankful and humbled to be their mom. But early parenthood was hard. Physically hard. Emotionally hard. Financially hard. Plain stinkin' hard. So if your babies have you grasping at the last straws of your sanity...you are certainly among friends here. <br />
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I have met those moms who just seem to be supernaturally gifted and love every aspect of being a mom of babies and young children. If that's you, then more power to you, Momma! Rock that spit-up on each shoulder. Truly, I learn a lot from you and am amazed at you. But I think I am just more gifted when it comes to relating to older kids. Kids that understand logic. And empathy. And sarcasm. (Yessss...much sarcasm...) So if you are in survival mode as a parent right now, let me encourage you. You will sleep an entire night again someday. Drool and poo will no longer be on every item of clothing you own. They will not surely die if you allow them to watch an extra hour of TV on difficult days. Give yourself a little grace. You have never been a parent before, and no one has ever parented these particular kids at this particular time before. You can seek good advice, read good parenting books, and Google until the sun goes down and comes back up, and you are still going to make parenting mistakes. But God has entrusted YOU with this child and He will be there even when you feel like another second of parenting will drive you bananas. I love the wording of the NIV version of this Bible verse, "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6) We are responsible for giving them a good start. (Yes, the very best start we can!) But God holds the responsibility of fulfilling his promise. <br />
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When I was pretty much hanging on by a thread of the very end of my parenting rope a few years ago, God gave me an excellent vision that illustrates this verse. Now, I'm not usually one who claims visions from God, but during a prayer time at church one evening, my mind clearly saw my kids- beautiful, strong and grown-up- laughing and running towards Jesus with outstretched arms. In that moment, suddenly I saw the fulfillment of that very verse. Not only were my kids not turning away from Christ, they were running full speed toward him! That encourages me to keep being the parent I know I need to be, even when I don't see immediate results of all the work I'm putting in today, tomorrow, or the next, oh....decade or so.<br />
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You are not alone, Mom. And it will get better.<br />
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<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-15857119168577860132013-02-27T17:50:00.001-05:002013-02-27T17:50:24.280-05:00Constant God, Part 2(Note: If you haven't read Constant God, Part 1, I encourage you to do that first. This will make a lot more sense if you do!) <br />
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I remember climbing the stairs to the balcony the first Sunday I attended church after my hospital stay. The stairs were so steep. I know I looked the part of a little old lady creeping up a step at a time. I couldn't even stand to worship for the songs. I think I cried at church every single week for a couple months. And it wasn't because I was really that sad or angry. I think I was just utterly physically and emotionally bankrupt,. When you have absolutely nothing to offer to anyone, especially God, the clarity of God's truth and the depth of His love seem much clearer, much deeper...<br />
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Let me back up a bit. I am a Christian. I believe the Bible is true and I love Jesus. If you don't believe that at all, or you're figuring out where you stand with the whole religion/God thing, that's cool. I hope you take those kind of things seriously because they effect the decisions you make every day. Just know this is the lens through which I see life and what drives my decisions. For me, life's everyday stuff brings me to decisions like these- Am I going to follow what the Bible says and do my best to line up my thoughts, actions, decisions according to what it says? Am I going to put God first and truly seek what God's will is? Am I going to trust that God has a plan for my life and knows it much better than I do? Or am I going to put myself first and do what I want instead?<br />
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So when you find yourself with a chronic disease that really doesn't have a known cause or a cure (although lots of effective treatments and a good chance for long term "remission") there's going to be some "stuff," if you will, that's going to hit the proverbial fan. Most of it is emotional and spiritual. When I started getting better instead of worse, I honestly thought life would return to normal before-sickness-type-life. I was so overjoyed just to be able to do regular things again: go to work, take care of my kids, laugh with my husband. You never know how awesome regular things are until they are taken away. Especially those things about my kids that annoyed me to no end suddenly became a source of thankfulness. I felt so good that I cancelled a follow up appointment early in 2012 with my rhuematologist, convinced that I would be fine. Slowly the number of pills I took each day decreased and my strength increased. I gained back some weight so my clothes were no longer hanging from my body.<br />
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But eventually my eye problems came back slowly. My joints, especially my knees, were swollen and painful a lot of the time. Auto-immune diseases are weird. They are systematic so people who tend to have one type of primary problem often have problems in other parts of the body. For me, it's been inflammation of the large intestine that has been fairly easy to control, but inflammation of certain joints and the irises in my eyes that haven't been so easy to control. By May 2012, I was back at the eye doctor and the rheumatologist and trying to find some answers. The first line of attack is controlling things by trying a type of sulfur drug (I take sulfasalazine) which decreases pain and inflammation without a lot of side effects. Some people are on long term steroid use, but the side effects of that are huge and thankfully my case isn't severe enough to justify it. (Look at how educated I've become!!) Anyway, the new meds were somewhat effective and I got through summer 2012, including resigning from my job in Vincennes and moving to Terre Haute. However, as the fall went on, (again, very slowly) things went downhill again. It finally began to sink in that this is not a disease that just goes away. I had been told that, and I could look you in the face and tell you that, but it took over a year to even begin to accept it. Because in so many ways, I'm still me and my life is very much the same, and I don't go to the hospital every week, and I just pace myself a little more. But I realized that my eyes were so bad I was afraid to drive at night because I couldn't read the road signs. I couldn't even read my music anymore. And that I had started spending more and more time in bed again. And the energy had been sucked out of my life. <br />
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On a physical level this meant going back to the rheumatologist again and making a decision that I did, in fact, need a higher level of treatment to keep this disease in check. I need an expensive biologic medicine that comes in the form of a three hour IV every eight weeks or so. On an emotional level, it meant accepting that my future may not look exactly the way I imagined. This disease has a mind of its own. I could have flare-ups here and there, I could go into remission and by symptom free for a very long time, or I could deteriorate slowly and go through the gamut of treatments...and if they don't work, they can always remove my colon (Boy does that sound fun!) Whatever happens, my body simply cannot handle going 100 miles an hour all day, every day anymore.<br />
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A funny thing happens when the body is forced to slow down and emotions run high. It leaves a lot of time to ponder the spiritual. You must answer the question that most of us are forced to answer at some point, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" And if you are a Christian, that question can be answered in a few ways. You can determine that you have done something that deserves severe punishment and that God is a severe judge and is not love and is cruel to the people he created. You can determine that you simply do not possess the required faith to exact healing. Believe me, I've prayed sincere prayers for healing. I've seen a lot of people pray for physical healing. Sometimes, (even though there's a lot of fake-y fake quacks out there) I believe God does miraculously heal. Sometimes, he doesn't choose to heal during our life on earth. And why is that? Well...I don't really know. I've struggled with that. It doesn't seem fair that wonderful people suffer and die. But I have seen how God takes pain and difficult circumstances and uses it to produce positive things...even beautiful things.<br />
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I have seen how my kids have learned to be more independent. Sometimes I simply cannot physically be the parent I want to be. My kids have learned that the world does not always revolve around them and that some of their needs are really wants and that they can do a lot more than they think they can. When I was healthy, I did a lot of things for them simply because it was easier. But they are beginning to figure out that they have an important part in helping our family function. We are a team and sometimes, their role gets a little bigger when Mom is down and out. I have seen how strong and secure the love of my husband is for me. Even when I was underweight, weak, lethargic, mean, with gastric issues, probably needing a bath, and he had put in a full day at work, made dinner for the tenth night in a row and put the kids to bed by himself AGAIN (Um, not exactly a dream girl!), he would look into my eyes and tell me how pretty I was. And I knew he meant it. And he still does that. That, girls, is LOVE.<br />
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And then there's me. Happy, independent, confident me. Who feels pretty good about the work she does to help others. Who has always been complimented by her bosses even though I've never made the big bucks. Who always did well in school. Who seems to get along with people pretty easily. Who has been blessed with creativity and musicality and a decent brain. Who had a great childhood. Who had text book pregnancies. Who never had anything more than strep throat or the stomach flu. Who has a wonderful husband, kids, church, friends and life. Yet...struggled sometimes with being content, grateful or happy at all. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it? But it's all about that central question for Christians- Am I living for self? Or am I living for God? When everything is going well, it is so very, very easy to rely on yourself and not on God. I have been a Christian long enough to know that when I'm at the center of my life, somewhere deep inside I know something is out of whack. When my identity is shaky, so is my mental well being. If the world rises and falls around only my actions, my successes, my failures, that's a lot of pressure! So I'm either a big puffed up jerky ball of pride because I think I'm awesome all the time, or I'm an utter and useless failure when I made a mistake or things aren't going the way I want them to. But when I'm sick, I simply don't have the physical capacity to handle my life anymore. That brings me to a decision: I can call God a liar and throw myself the biggest pity party on the planet and become bitter and resentful about my health....or...I can trust that God is going to bring me through this and that He really does know far more than I do about everything, that He loves me even more than my husband, and that He has many purposes still left for me on earth to fufill. I chose the second one. And I find that I have more joy, more peace, less self-pity and less depression even on days that I feel like crapola. It also doesn't hurt that I'm forced to rest sometimes, or ask for help and see all the truly kind and helpful people around me, or prioritize and do only the most important things and let some of the less important things go.<br />
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It seems odd that chronic disease has somehow made me more positive. But before you schedule a therapy session for me, consider this. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says: <br />
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Right before these verses, the apostle Paul explains that he has a "thorn in his flesh." I know there's a lot of speculation about what exactly he means by that phrase or whether or not it was a physical affliction, but regardless, it bothered Paul so much that he asked God three times to take it away. And God didn't. And Paul decided to delight in it? And use it for God's glory? So counter-culture. So hard. <br />
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So if you've ran into me during the past few months at the grocery store, or if you're a new friend, or I wrote something very cryptic on facebook and you scratched your head in confusion...This is kind of the stuff I want to tell you about but is incredibly awkward to work into any conversation less than an hour long. Just putting words to it helps ME understand the whole process. And I've got a long way to go. But for now, the infusions are doing their job and aside from throwing my back out last week, I've felt really good for the past couple months! My rheumatologist said my last blood tests show I'm a "normal" person. (HA! Define normal...)<br />
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So to recap Constant God I and II: Lots of stuff has changed in my life over the last 1.5 years. Mostly, my health is questionable. But my God is constant. Let the blogging continue.<br />
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<br />Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-33994436431067889152013-02-22T15:01:00.000-05:002013-02-22T15:01:32.912-05:00Constant God, Part II have felt for awhile that writing just wasn't in my scope...just too much going on...no clear picture of what to write...but I feel the tide shifting. So here goes...glad to have old friends and new with me on the journey!<br />
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My identity in some ways has changed again drastically over the past few months: I resigned from my full time job in June. We moved back to Terre Haute in August. I started a new part-time job teaching music lessons a few hours a week for my pal David Armstrong and the Creative Music and Arts Center. I stay at home most days with my fab-o four-year-old and do a tolerable amount of housework and a lot of playing. I occasionally take care of a couple extra kiddos after school. From August until now we survived a total remodeling of our living room, kitchen, and dining room. We started attending Maryland Community Church in Terre Haute and getting to know the people and ministries there.<br />
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So, yeah, I would say that's a significant amount of change. Again. The person I was a year ago is definitely not me anymore!<br />
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But one of the biggest changes is the most difficult to write about. I don't want to be over-dramatic or a sympathy seeker. I hate negativity and complaining to complain when there's so much to be thankful about. On the flip side, I also fight self-pity and pride pretty much every day. It's hard to let people in on the things that are not perfect or just plain ugly in my life. But there is a certain awesome factor in seeing what God has for us to learn through struggle and pain...and how beautiful the Church is when they come around those who struggle. So I will attempt to describe to you the biggest challenge I think I've ever had in my 33 and a half years- chronic disease. <br />
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In August of 2011 I started having eye issues. I've always had sensitive eyes, too sensitive for contacts most of the time, bright light seems to be harder on me than most people, etc. But I started seeing what I can only describe as cloudy vision. Like I was forced to look through a foggy lens all the time. Then my eyes became super light sensitive, red, and painful. I went to my family doc who thought is was most likely allergies or an infection but after a few days, drops were not helping. Off to the eye doc I went to hear news that is never good to hear from a doctor a few years away from retirement, "Well, I have never seen THIS before!" I had bi-lateral iritis, an auto-immune problem where the iris in the eye gets inflamed for no apparent reason and the cloudiness I was seeing were all the white blood cells trying to fight an infection that wasn't there. What was so unusual was that it is very rarely in both eyes at the same time. He asked me about 18 times if I had any other auto-immune problems, as this is also rarely a condition people get without other auto-immune quirkiness going on. I had to look at him completely baffled, because I was completely fine other than that! I have always been pretty healthy!<br />
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Fast forward about a month later. Mid-September I took some of my students on a leadership field trip. I had mild stomach issues the whole day and was hoping it was just the flu or something I ate. But I remembered what the eye doctor said. Could it be related to my eyes? Googling was scary but I am way too inquisitive not to do it, so I found Crohn's and ulcerative colitis(UC) were among the the nasty things that frequently comes along with iritis.<br />
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Time went on. Kept having stomach issues. My husband planned a very nice tenth anniversary weekend in Indianapolis for us and I was just too sick to enjoy it like I wanted to. It's a strange disease because I've found my flare ups come about very, very slowly. You think you're ok. You make it through the day, but oh so slowly, it gets worse. Any other time I had been sick, you rest, you take your meds, and you're back running full speed ahead within a few days! I went to the doctor, suspecting it was something related to the eye problems, but it really takes time and weeks to figure out these things. Mostly because you have to rule out the other 87 things it might be that are more likely and easier to fix. So in that process, the more sick I became, the more tests they ran, the more weight I lost, the more doctors I saw, the less energy I had, the more I spent time on the couch, the more work I missed... it culminated in a week long stay at the hospital where I got a lovely colonoscopy and started getting some answers. It was not infectious, it was auto-immune, and whether it was Crohn's or UC, the treatment options are about the same. I was told Crohn's at the hospital, but eventually, a (very expensive) test confirmed it is UC. Google and you will find more info than what you want to know.<br />
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I remember clearly meeting my rhuematologist for the first time in the hospital. First of all, I suspect he is younger than I am. (Surprise! When did that become possible?) Second, he is the most enthusiastic doctor I have ever met. He obviously loves what he does and loves explaining things to his patients. Third, he looks a lot like Harry Potter. I kid you not. Put a scar on his forehead, and there you go. Fictional wizards aside, he honestly is a a God-given gift, because he is so kind and positive among the scary stuff his patients deal with each day. Anyway, he gave me a clear explanation of my disease and what the strategy was going forward. Of course it was way too much information for me to process then. I was not able to understand that this would be something I would be dealing with for the long haul. Plus, I was starting to feel better and I was on a lot of steroids, which pretty much make you feel invincible. (Just sayin'.) It was a long, slow recovery and education process during late 2011 and early 2012. <br />
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I'll write more about the post-diagnosis life, recovery, bumps in the road, and the emotional and spiritual lessons learned soon. Really. I've got all kinds of things rolling around in my brain and I will use way too many words to express it. <br />
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But before I end part one, a quick shout out to my husband, Frank. He sincerely was nothing short of amazing during this. He cared for the kids, kept going to work, kept working to get the Sullivan house ready to sell (You know, just painting the entire outside of the house by himself!), and took care of a wife too sick to find much joy in about anything. Also a quick shout out to Crossroads Community Church. When my pastor came to visit me in the hospital, the staff thought he was my Dad. We've known each other for over 10 years and he's the right age to be my dad...but that spoke volumes to me about the love he has for his church members. If you know Eddie, you get this. Also, family, friends and church ladies had us drowning in delicious food! Is was such a huge blessing to not have to come up with something for Frank to make or buy for him and the kids. I always knew of the casserole phenomenon when someone in the church is sick or tragedy strikes, but I had never been the recipient of the Church Lady Casserole. Best food ever, even though I couldn't eat very much at the time! I'm sure my family was probably sad when I started cooking again. But, I digress. Isn't this is the way the church is supposed to function? Caring for each other when the need is there? We had been helping with the church plant for awhile and hadn't been back at Crossroads for very long before I got sick. Some of these ladies barely knew us, but were willing to spend time and money on US! I was so very thankful for that! Never underestimate an act of kindness.<br />
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Ok, thanks for sticking with the rambling. More to come in part two...<br />
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Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-52240257358331344742012-09-07T16:16:00.000-04:002012-09-07T16:16:10.845-04:00Your HandsSo...here's a song I've been working on. If I get real fancy, I'll try to record it one day and post it. I'm back, baby! ;) <br />
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Maybe I'm just too weak<br />
Or maybe I think I'm strong<br />
When I'm obsessed with me<br />
That's where it all starts to go wrong<br />
<br />
The problems seem too big<br />
My faith just seems so small<br />
I'm worried, I'm overwhelmed<br />
Can I make a difference at all<br />
<br />
So I give it up, give it up<br />
Give it all to Your hands<br />
I don't know why I'm worrying<br />
Give it up, give it up<br />
As a part of Your plan<br />
You're so much bigger than I am<br />
<br />
I give it all, all to You<br />
I trust in you, only You<br />
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Seek first His kingdom<br />
Seek first righteousness<br />
When I run after You, Lord<br />
My burdens are less and less<br />
<br />
In You there's no condemnation<br />
In You there's peace and rest<br />
You hold the strength and the power<br />
It's in You I've been so blessed<br />
<br />
So I give it up, give it up<br />
Give it all to Your hands<br />
I don't know why I'm worrying<br />
Give it up, give it up<br />
As a part of Your plan<br />
You're so much bigger than I am<br />
<br />
I give it all, all to You<br />
I trust in You, only You<br />
<br />
Stop me in my tracks<br />
Pick me up again<br />
I am such a mess<br />
When I'm out of Your hands<br />
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I give it all, all to You<br />
I trust in You, only You
Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-9308575675582287022012-08-31T16:31:00.000-04:002012-08-31T16:31:40.107-04:00Ummmm....yeah....I'm thinking about getting back into blogging and I can't even remember how to do anything. Help. Me.Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-2805966902235481552011-07-05T08:33:00.012-04:002011-07-05T10:46:28.862-04:00Well, hello blog land! I had a very nice email from my friend Helen the other day...just saying that she missed me and my posts. I'm on vacation this week from work. I'm just staying home and catching up and hanging with my kids. No escape to the tropics or anything grand. Kind of like the good ol' blog days... So I thought I'd give you all a recap on what the fam has been up to in the past...oh...year and a half. ;) I can't say that I'll be updating this regularly once again, but be assured, I do stop by everyone's blogs now and then to see what everyone it up to. Wow, that sounds creepier than I meant it to be.<br /><br />Thus I give to you: THE 2011 SABELHAUS UPDATE! (Update...update...Pretend like that was in movie announcer voice with echo effect)<br /><br /><strong>Numero Uno: My kids are not so little anymore.</strong> Sure, seven, five, and not quite three sound like small children, but they are WORLDS away from a couple years ago when I had an infant, toddler, and preschooler. Annabelle loves to read chapter books and learn anything she can about animals. She's enjoying the Nintendo DS she got for her birthday. All big kid stuff. Dancing, singing, drawing...she loves the artsy stuff, too, and has aspirations of a career in the arts. I'm afraid I have her hooked on HGTV as well. (Gotta love House Hunters.) Joey is getting ready to begin kindergarten next month. How a five year old child could be so smart, logical, and matter of fact and yet still have such a HUGE imagination, I'm not sure. But that's my Joe. He loves his video and computer games and playing in imaginary worlds with his sister. Some days it's frustrating having a kid who tells it like it is. If he's bored, you'll hear about it. If he doesn't want to do it, it probably won't happen. But he's grown up a lot in the past few months and I think he's going to dig school. I suspect that he has determined that preschool life is beneath him. And then there's Jay. Ahhhhhhh, Jay. The sweet easy going baby that didn't do much the first year and half of his life has certainly made up for it in the next year and a half. He's my fireball. And my momma's boy. He's determined to master the universe and do it his way. This can make for a long day when he's throwing the mother of all fits and you have to carry him out of Wal-Mart under your arm football style and somehow he manages to kick you full on in the face. But his sweet moments are that much sweeter. When he sings "Jesus Loves Me" and says a little prayer with an "Ayyyy MEN!" at the end, you just melt into an ewwy gooey puddle of adorable. Jay's current loves are Barney, trains, school buses, playing in the dirt and destroying whatever his brother and sister are doing. <br /><br /><br /><strong>Next Up: I have been married almost 10 years.</strong> Yup, the tenth anniversary will be in September. I don't want to get too mushy, but I certainly love, appreciate, and respect Frank more with each year. It's almost funny to look back and see how the things that frustrated me about him those first couple years have become little things, and how he's always had the major things right. He's had a change in jobs this past year and now works for Sony DADC. A step up in pay but also a step up in time at work, so we've all had to adjust a bit. When he's not at work, he's been working on the house- redoing our bedroom, redoing the deck, building a swing set, and trying to convince me that he can build a garage... Anywho, since he's been at Sony, he started working out at the gym there, and I have to say I'm pretty proud of him for sticking with the exercise thing and losing quite a bit of weight. We had to go get him a sweet new wardrobe. He's stylin'. <br /><br /><strong>And little ol' me?</strong> I'm doing well. I'm getting back into running a little bit after taking a few months off. Chug. Chug. My job is good. Summer is a transition time of helping the graduates start life in the real world and getting things ready for my new students. I was really close to the class that just graduated; some of them have been with me since I started the job almost two years ago, so it's going to be strange not to have them in class anymore. But that's one of things I like about my program. I DO get the chance to get to know my students that well! Other than that, I'm not up to much. Work and family tend to fill up the days pretty quickly. I've been trying to take a little time to hang out at the lake or just read this summer.<br /><br /><strong>What about the church?</strong> I would say we're in a transition period in ministry right now. We loved being a part of HealingPointe, the church plant we helped start in 2006, but as 2011 began, then Frank's new job began, and some burnout began, we started understanding that it was no longer matching God's vision for us. Living in one community and ministering in another with three kids and two full time jobs wasn't really effective. So we transitioned out in February and have been attending the church we used to attend before HealingPointe. It's strange to just go to church. Frank and I have occasionally played in the worship band, but we're not "in charge" of anything. It's a good and obedient thing, but I do miss leading worship. I miss my friends at HealingPointe and I haven't totally re-kindled relationships at our current church. It's a process, I suppose. Frank and I are waiting and praying on what might be in store for the future. Frank finished up his Master's degree in Church Planting this May (Woo hoo!) and we know that someday we will be a part of another church plant. But what's in store for Frank and I in ministry until then...and where and when that plant will be...we really just don't know yet! That causes some head spinning with the endless exciting possibilities and some impatience. So keep us in your prayers, please. :) Brings me back to one of my all time favorite verses, Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."<br /><br />Hope you enjoyed the post, Helen! If you drop me a line in the comments demanding more posts, maybe I'll update again in a more timely manner. :)Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6442286004437693735.post-90214635655901162812009-12-18T19:05:00.002-05:002009-12-18T19:54:18.783-05:00I've Written A Thousand Posts in My HeadYet...<br /><br />Those posts never get here.<br /><br />I think maybe Blogger is broken.<br /><br />Or I've had to significantly re-structure my time since going back to work.<br /><br />Hmmmm.<br /><br />Anywho, work is going really well. Love the kiddos I get to work with and how creative I get to be with them! Of course, I'm keeping busy with my own kiddos and church and Girl Scouts when I'm not at work. And the weekends are for catching up on cleaning and chilling! So...most of the writing will have to wait I think. Although I really miss it some days! <br /><br />One of those days was yesterday when I got to sit in on an interview with a kid for one of our programs. He's pretty much got everything against him in life, and he's made some bad choices, but he's decided he MUST make a change. So he's been walking miles to GED classes every day and wants to be a police officer someday. He wants to get a good job so he can help his single mom struggle less. I got to be a part of telling him, "You're in! And if you do your part to get your GED and attend our training classes...you get your college paid for." The look of hope on his face! He couldn't put gratitude into words. It was a gift he didn't really deserve and a day of redemption of the best kind.<br /><br />It made me think of Jesus. He is a gift I most definitely do not deserve, but a gift that I am so very grateful for that it's hard to express it accurately. So even though I sat in my business attire as a 30 year old professional of some sort, a teacher, a mom...and he sat in his parka and Packers stocking cap looking pretty sweaty and nervous for a punk kid...there was a thread of redemption that we shared.<br /><br />So as we gather with friends and family and live the joyful highs and the stressed out lows of Christmas...may we be reminded that a little baby boy born in Bethlehem gave us true gifts of mercy...grace...and the hope of a redeemed future. Merry Christmas everybody! <br /><br />Romans 6:23<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">For the wages of sin is death, but the <span style="font-weight:bold;">gift</span> of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord</span>Bethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04573016840618175525noreply@blogger.com7