Monday, May 11, 2009

Reasons I am Not on Twitter

Yeah. I know. Someday I'll probably cave and eat each delicious word found here in this post. But, for now, this is why I'm staying clear of Twitter:

1. I have the temptation of being on the computer too much each day. God and I talk about this. Right now we've found a pretty good balance. That oh so delicate balance could be in jeopardy with Twitter. (Ya hear that, Frank? I'm admitting that SOMETIMES I'm on the computer too much. Gook luck getting me to say it out loud.)

2. Twitter seems to be much more useful for those on the go who can update their statuses and read those of others from their super cool computer/phone/pda/cuisinart devices. I have no such device. I don't need one. I don't want one. And if I had one, I'd just be at home by the real computer anyway....see reason number one.

3. People (*cough* KATDISH!) have told me I need to be on Twitter. Therefore, I will not be. You are not the boss of me.

4. It seems to be full of advertising. I get too much of that from the computers that call me each day to tell me my warranty on my car is expired. Silly computers. Don't they know that I've never owned a car new enough to HAVE a warranty on it?

5. You have to keep your words under a certain word count. Have you READ my posts? Have you read my COMMENTS? I'm not a person of few words in cyberspace. Trying to whittle down what I'm thinking to 140 characters or whatnot will just cause me to spend MORE time on the computer. (Back to reason one again...)

6. Half of my tweets would be about changing diapers or feats like installing toilet seats. You get enough of that if you're my facebook friend. I know, I know, you can feed your twittery tweeties to facebook, but I like things the way they are. See reason three.

So, if you love Twitter...awesome. Tell me about it. I'll listen and be excited for you. I can see how it can be good to network with people and communicate stuff and have a little fun and brighten your day. But if you tell me to join, be prepared to be kicked in the cyber shins. Because I am stubborn and I don't want any more computer temptation. Now if you tell me Twitter will pay me crazy amounts of money or do the dishes for me, THEN we will talk. You'll have to excuse me...the baby is trying to eat VHS tapes. That's right. They go in a VCR. Did I mention I'm stubborn...and perhaps slightly technology resistant?

P.S. You are not the boss of me.


sherri said...

What she said--except for #6.

Shark Bait said...

Oh thank goodness. I was starting to think I was the only hold-out left.

wv "heari" - heari heari, Sharkbait is not the only one not on twitter.

Helen said...

Twitter was great when I could limit myself to three of four a day, but now we seem to be using it like a chat room. Doing that wouldn't be so bad, if we say scheduled our chats within a one hour period. But it is hard to leave the computer ( I don't have a cuisinart either) and risk not being part of a great conversation. Also, they need me. You should have seen their twitters Sunday without me (I went back this morning and checked). Absolutely pathetic. Just kidding, just kidding.
If it wasn't for the temptation to be on all day, it would be great. I wouldn't devote a whole post to most things I twitter about, but 140 characters is perfect.
Plus, I can irritate katdish by tweeting my grocery list. That was fun!

katdish said...

Beth -

Whatever you do, do not EVER get a Twitter account. I am telling you this for your own good. Seriously, even if we all have a great time making short jokes about Sherri on twitter, it's not something you need to ever do.

Oh, gotta go. Ashton Kuetcher just direct messaged me...(again)

Amy said...

Good for you, Beth! Do not cave! I have no desire at this point to Twitter, I think because of all the same reasons you listed (except that Katdish has not told me to get on it). I like updating my facebook status just fine. Now, one of my friends got on Twitter just to update every five minutes of her labor and delivery, so I guess in that way, it was quite useful and informative. Otherwise, I think we have enough junkie issues. :)

katdish said...

Amy -

In case you change your mind:

@katdish on Twitter