Today is the one year anniversary of That's Not Me Anymore! We've laughed, we've cried, we've learned how to grocery shop with small children...I'll try not to make this random, rambling, and discombobulated...but truly, that IS my style, is it not? Would you expect anything less? I hate to disappoint...
My first post ever was about how God was forming me into a new person, thus the title of the blog. And just one short year later, I still feel the title is very appropriate! I hope I never stay comfortable with who I am. Don't get me wrong, my self-esteem is a-okay (most days, at least :P), but I do not ever, ever, ever want to be a content, safe, and bored with my relationship with God. Gotta keep growing. Gotta keep changing. Gotta keep cleaning out that gunk that gets lodged in my soul and doesn't want to budge. Gotta keep LIVING.
I feel like the past week has been a fresh calling to do just that. To be brave and intentionally put myself in places where my faith is stretched. My pastor, Eric, gave a powerful message last Sunday that ended in one of the most moving videos I have ever seen. If you want to see it, here's a link: Run. (Warning, if you have somewhere to go in a few minutes and don't want to arrive teary-eyed, you may want to wait to view it.) Then on Monday, I went to my women's group meeting and heard a devotional from Proverbs 31 ministries based on the Bible passage where Peter tries to walk on the water. (Matthew 14: 22-36). It focused on Peter's reckless faith. I love this idea, here's just a bit of it. The whole thing can be found here.
"He had reckless faith: Without thinking, without distress over consequences, without anxiety over what might happen, and without concern for what his friends might think, Peter had faith. Peter had reckless faith. And we can too! Reckless faith means doing what God has called us to do, commanded us to do, and prompted us to do – because it brings Him glory. Those who witnessed Peter's reckless faith didn't ooh and aah over Peter. Instead, like Peter, they fixed their eyes on Jesus. "Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, 'Truly you are the Son of God'" (Matthew 14:33, NIV).
Man, do I want to bring Glory to God! And especially over the past year, I've found that doesn't necessarily mean jumping up to do these huge grandiose things for Him...a lot of times it means just being faithful to take care of the things God's given me already. And follow the commandments that I already know. Urg. Wait. That's not as exciting as running into burning buildings and walking on water...?? Not fair, God!! Where's the adventure? But it does take a tiny bit of bravery to get up each day and face a life of wiping poo booties, making lunches, paying the bills, exercising patience and love even when I don't feel like it... And I think all of those little bits of bravery prepare us for times when God does bring us a situation that requires a leap of faith instead of a baby step.
I've got a long way to go. There's some saying about the more you know, the more you know you DON'T know...yeah. I like that one. Two steps forward, one step back. You get it. Lately it seems I'm in that ridiculous step back. Grrr. Just last night we went out in the neighborhood where our church is, simply to invite people to our little outdoor block party on Sunday. We were already tired from a long day...Frank had an online training he had to listen to all day for work. I had taught preschool in the morning, did some errands, did school pick up, etc. We did not have enough sleep. We weren't in the mood to be "friendly." Okay, at least I wasn't in the mood. We got there a little late and there were no more fliers left to give to people. Not exactly the exciting work for Jesus we had envisioned...It was all so simple and easy in our minds, right? Still, we were struggling to DO it. This simple little thing. We made each other take turns talking to strangers(Who were perfectly nice, by the way, and receptive to an invitation to the block party. No one pulled a gun or hexed us or even said anything remotely rude...yeesh, I need to work on being less dramatic in my head!). No reason at all to be nervous. So why was I nervous? Probably because I am still working out those basic elements of faith...trust...bravery...recklessness...
So here's another to another year of the blog. Another year of working through this constant change we call life...of raising a family, of having a church plant turn into a "for real" church...of finding my voice in cyberspace and listening to God's voice...
Thanks to everyone who takes time to read! Whether I know you in person or via my little mac, you have really encouraged me this year!
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