This week I am not quite myself. After 8 years of marriage, funny how your spouse really DOES seem like your other half. The Frankster is off to some computer-y thing-y with his co-workers this week. Being a pretty independent woman and all...I'm okay with managing the kids by myself for awhile.
BUT...some of the things I miss the most:
I do not laugh nearly as much. And when I do, it's not quite as fun.
I have become totally dependent on him when we lead worship together! Seriously, God knew what he was doing (Doesn't He always?) because we compliment each other so well and have led music so many times together that we pretty much share a brain every Sunday evening.(Cue mental image of Frankenbeth.)
Anywho, last night I had to lead by myself and I got a lot more nervous than I should have... Something about being alone up there and if I make a mistake, there it is for everyone to see! Which is ridiculous, since it was all of our friends and their kids at our little church, and they love me mistakes and all. And God never said he requires perfection for it to be worship and pleasing to Him! (Can I get an Amen, people?) But, there it is. After being in choirs and singing solos and being a part of worship teams for pretty much all of my 30 years...I. still. get. nervous. For no logical reason. Bleh.
So as things like this go with me, nerves got the best of me. I messed up. People had a hard time following the songs. Ahhh...it all went so well in my head during practice. By myself. Where it's just God and me and the piano! But the moment I started to settle down a bit out of nervous/hyper mode and actually worship...God just took over and made it a beautiful thing for Him. So why can't I do that from the get-go?
I haven't figured that one out yet, but I am thankful for the opportunity to stretch a little bit and grow! It's a good thing to have the rug of familiarity and comfort pulled out from beneath my feet. It's a good reminder how far I have to go and how dependent I need to be on God. And how great of a worship leader Frank has become! Really. I could not be more proud of him. Not only is he an excellent musician that brings out the best in the people that play with him...he really has developed a deeper love for God that is apparent during corporate worship.
We used to say when we first started dating that "we make a pretty good team." (Said in a very cheesy over-animated way with thumbs up, of course.) Back then it was a way of using humor to mask the slightly scary truth that we really and truly were good together...but it continues to hold true! I miss my teammate! But I'm sure we will have loads of fun catching up on his travels in computer geekdom when he returns.
P.S. The rest of the service last night was a kids' service. It was soooo fun! It was like going back to VBS, but I got to do it with my daughter. We need to do that more often! I dig church as a family.
- ▼ September (7)