Sunday, December 7, 2008

Having a Bad Hair Day?




I share this information with you with the hopes that it will:
A. Make you feel just a little more normal.
B. Make you feel like there's someone out there that might be as crazy as you.

And I will add a disclaimer: I usually am not obsessed with my physical appearance. I'm a pretty low maintenance type of gal. There are a lot of things that are more important to me than how I look. But this hairy adventure is just too funny not to share...

Let's just say I have some hair issues lately. For the past two years I have had a dry, itchy, scaly scalp. I don't know why it developed or what it is and I keep hoping it will go away as suddenly as it appeared. But no luck. Lately it's been worse that usual. I also have been losing my hair in massive quantities. After every baby, this has happened at about the four month mark. I knew it was coming. It will grow back. But it is still disturbing to see wads of hair each time I turn around...when I brush my hair, when I bathe, when I think really, really hard...embarrassing. It's to the point that you could see the dry scalp through my thinning hair and I need to wear a hair net when I cook. Very sexy.

Last week I got fed up and decided to take some action. Did I go see my doctor for a dermatologist referral? Did I consult a stylist about a new product to try? No. That would be easy and make sense. And it would possibly cost more than three dollars.

Instead, I tried an idea my loving and wonderful husband had. When babies have scalp issues (cradle cap), you can put a little Vaseline or baby oil on their scalp and comb the nasties out. Presto! Instant healthy scalp. I have done this with my kids. What works on babies HAS to work on adults, right? So Friday night I coated my head in Vaseline to let it soften for a night. What's the worst that could happen, I thought. If it doesn't work, I'll simply wash it out in the morning and try something else.

Overnight, the Vaseline worked it's way through my longish hair and was a pretty ewwy gooey greasy mess. When I combed through it, the plan seemed to work okay except for the comb removed a lot of hair along with the unwanted scalp crust. It will grow back, I told myself. It will be worth it. Healthy scalp, here I come!! I started to wet down my hair to wash everything clean...but my hair wouldn't get wet. The Vaseline totally repelled the water. Like...uh...water off a duck's back. Hmmm.... Well, maybe shampoo would help. I tried two different kinds. With each shampoo, more hair fell out. But my remaining hair stayed a greasy mess. So I went to church last night with my hair back in a bun, looking like I had put a whole can of pomade on it.

Today it was go time. I WOULD find something to remove the grease from my hair. Dish soap was first. I washed my hair twice. Each time more hair came out. Each time the hair stayed greasy. I tried the de-greaser my husband used to wash his hands after working on cars. It smells like orange cleaner and looks like cloudy grey jell-o. It has warnings about what to do if it comes in contact with your eyes. That worked a little bit. And you guessed it. I lost more hair. After that I called a truce. If I washed it any more, there wouldn't be any left to wash.

So here I sit tonight. With greasy hair. That smells like bitter orange peel with a hint of Dawn. There are big wads of hair in the bathroom trash. I told Frank it looks like I killed a small animal. He said it looked like I killed a large animal. I guess that's what I get for trying to buck the system and spare myself the embarrassment of sharing my hair/scalp issues with a professional and spending a few bucks. But my scalp does look and feel better, by golly. And it's easily seen through my very thin hair...

So, how was your weekend?

14 comments:

Helen said...

Oh Beth, I'm sorry. Not talking about you personally, but us women in general are usually vain about our hair, so this has to be hard for you. Do you have nice scarves? My mom used to always make me wear a babushka, and I was thinking maybe you would feel better wearing one. Then again, maybe not. I hated mine, unless I my hair was hard to control that day and I wanted to hide it.
Now me, I am growing hair on my chin and upper lip. Kind of the wrong place, you know. Yes, I tweeze, and it hurts. I guess these trials somehow make us prettier inside, and that is what Jesus sees. Did you read Matt and the Church of No People's blogpost? He is on Sherri's blogroll. From the title of his post, it looks as if God is dumping us to be with him, but Matt has a different point;-) . Have a good evening. Your hair will grow back. Till then, you can wear something like what Mary Ann Kaiser is wearing in her blog picture, and make a fashion statement. "I wear this scarf on my head in support of my missionary friend Mary Ann, who is teaching in Nigeria for a year." Yeah, that'll work...

Mare said...

Oh Beth that is the best and worst story I have heard in a really long time. I mean, my mouth actually fell open when you said that you used your husband's grease remover. That is heavy duty stuff beth!! Oh, I wish you could have taken a picture for us. Is that horrible of me? I'm supposed to be supporting you!

Wow, I really like your attempt at being resourceful though. I mean, really...I would have done the same but supposing I'm ever in the same situation...I won't do it thanks to you. Phew.

Gees...sorry. haha I like Helen's idea...I can send you some material. =)

Lisa Joy said...

Wow. What an adventure! I'm so sorry!

Do you sew at all? You could get some small-ish pieces of cheap fabric and make some scarves to match your wardrobe. Whenever I have the "pregnancy fall-out," I rely heavily on pulling my hair back and covering it up as much as possible.

Good luck!

Annie K said...

Oh dear Beth! I am NOT going to complain about my hair anymore. I laughed at the craziness of the story but buhhh-leeeve me I was crying inside. I'm glad you have a sense of humor about it.

I second Helen's idea - and it could double as your head covering when we are praying for Mare. ;)

Beth said...

Update: I found a ball cap to wear to Baby Jay's doctor appointment this morning. But I have no idea what to do for a Christmas party this evening....I'm not into Santa...but I might have to find a Santa hat. And I'll be searching for that covered head verse in the Bible. I know it's in there somewhere. Www.biblegateway.com here I come!

Mare said...

1 Cor. 11:5
haha I'll never forget it after coming here. geesh.

haha yes, I think you should all wear headcoverings as you pray. =) That's a delightful image. I, however, will not be wearing one in the comfort of my house.

Beth said...

Corinthians 11:5 (New International Version)

"And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved."

Maybe I should just shave my head?

Amy said...

Oh, Beth! I always picture you one of my "hippier" friends...I'm sure you could sport a scarf well. :) As for me, I've never had hair long enough to pull into a bun or pony tail, so at least you have that going for you. I remember Christianne always said for cradle cap to use Selsun blue and a soft-bristled toothbrush. Not that you need that so much now. But maybe for future reference, that will have less grease to it. Hang in there, and use that verse to your advantage! :)

Matt @ The Church of No People said...

Beth - thanks for coming over and commenting. I've actually been lurking around on your blog lately too! Hope to see you back soon. And I have no idea how to dissolve vasalene. Maybe mineral spirits. But that's likely to also dissolve your hair and not make your skin healthy AT ALL.

katdish said...

I could send you my daughter's Hannah Montanna wig. It's a bit tangly, but I think you could pull it off...

Beth said...

Yeah. Cuz I totally look like teen rock star by night, middle schooler by day...

Amy said...

Okay, I was getting my hair cut the other day and telling my hairstylist about all of this craziness. She said that you need to take Biotin for the hair-thinning. She said it can be found in a B Complex vitamin, or you can just buy it by itself in a capsule at WalMart. She said that is prescribed a lot for cancer patients going through chemo, and it helps with regrowing healthy hair. It is just a natural supplement, so I say give it a shot!

Beth said...

Thanks, Amy!! I'll have to try that. I've been taking my regular vitamins like a good girl lately (I hate taking pills), but maybe those will do the trick. Does she have any remedies for greasy hair? Mine is STILL not back to normal.

Pam said...

Oh my goodness Beth, I'm so sorry. Though it sounds like something I would try for sure. I love me some home remedies (aka-I'm cheap). Try vinegar on your hair- it won't hurt your hair (it can be used as a conditioner-yeah, I know-weird) but maybe it would cut through the Vaseline. BTW: I would of totally tried the orange cleaner too- it sounded like a good plan. And the powers that be (aka-Google) suggested rubbing alcohol. Good luck, hope something works....